2010 WSOP Schedule

By Pauly
Bueno Aires, Argentina

May 27 through July 17.

That's the dates for the 2010 WSOP. The $10,000 buy-in Main Event begins on July 5th.

Start building that bankroll. Plan your vacation. Send your two week's notice around May 1st. But make sure you divorce your wife after the WSOP. You don't want divorce attorneys digging into your bankroll or tilting your during the Main Event.

Six chances at playing with fellow Broke Dicks in six different $1,000 buy-in NL events. Last year, they had one "discounted" event and 2010 features six. That doesn't count the seven $1,500 Donkaments... for a total of 13 bracelets well within the reach of the commoners. Of course you're gonna have to beat anywhere from 2,000 to 3,500 people in order to make it happen, but as they say... even donkeys have dreams.

I'll be returning to Las Vegas to cover my sixth WSOP. Gonna rage it solo again on Tao of Poker with a little help from the Tao All Stars. Sweet Jesus, is that right... six WSOPs? Six. Seems like just yesterday that I got offered a job by the Poker Prof and Flipchip to cover the WSOP. What a trip since then...

Anyway, I told myself that I wouldn't think about the 2010 WSOP until the first week in March. So here we are. The WSOP is just around the corner and the November Nine is eight plus months away (scheduled for November 6-9th).

Harrah's made some changes. Some are good. Others are neutral. A few blow. But hey, that's the WSOP. It wouldn't be what it is without someone complaining about something! But the indoor Poker Kitchen returns. The Poker Tent will finally RIP, but then where is everyone going to smoke weed?

Here's the skinny...

• 57 gold bracelet events over 51 days.

• Expanded footprint – The giant Pavilion Ballroom (58,000 sq. feet) will be in use this year for poker in the Rio Convention Center. The Pavilion is the largest ballroom at the Rio, and along with the famed Amazon Room (38,000 sq. feet), will make-up the playing rooms for this year’s WSOP. The entire convention space will be used.

• Expanded capacity – Along with expanded footprint, comes more poker tables. A record 295 tables were utilized last year, and this year’s configuration is still being plotted, but expected to offer about 20 percent more tables.

• No Food Tent – The outdoor food tent will now become an indoor food court experience. The Miranda Ballroom, last year used as a room for play, will be converted into a food court with a variety of popular food items for players and spectators.

• Sensational Structures & Starting Chips – Drafting off last year’s success, all gold bracelet events in 2010 will feature triple the buy-in in starting chips and deep structures, providing plenty of play.

• $25K 6-Handed No-Limit – A new event this year will be a $25,000 buy-in 6-handed No-Limit Hold’em 4-day event. Event #52 begins on Wednesday, June 30 at 12 noon.

• $50K Players Championship – The Chip Reese Trophy is up for grabs at the $50,000 buy-in eight-game mixed event, dubbed the Players Championship, which is being morphed from the $50K H.O.R.S.E. tournament run the past four years. This new eight-game format will serve as the true test of the game’s greatest all-around player and receive star treatment, with ESPN cameras covering the five-day event for television. Event #2 starts on Friday, May 28 at 5:00 PM.

• Still Plenty of H.O.R.S.E. – A new $10,000 buy-in H.O.R.S.E. Championship tournament will be offered, to go along with $1,500 and $3,000 buy-ins to the popular game.

• The 4th annual Ante Up For Africa Celebrity-Charity Tournament -- $5,000 buy-in No-Limit Hold’em celebrity and charity tournament on Saturday, July 3, (two days before the Main Event begins) featuring the opportunity for anyone age 21 or older to enter and be seated at the same table as A-list celebrities and top poker pros.

• The Ladies Only No-Limit Hold’em Championship – On Friday, June 11, featuring a $1,000 buy-in and helping to raise awareness for the Nevada Cancer Institute, the official community relations partner of the World Series of Poker.

• The Seniors Only No-Limit Hold’em Championship – On Friday, June 18 , featuring a $1,000 buy-in for all poker enthusiasts 50 years of age or older.

• June $550 No-Limit Hold’em Tournaments – Every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 1:00 PM throughout June, the Rio will host new $550 No-Limit Hold’em tournaments for those looking for a Hold’em fix. These are one-day structured tournaments, and not bracelet events.

Here's the schedule this year...

2010 WSOP Schedule:

Fri, May 28th @ 12:00pm Event #1: Casino Employees NL - $500
Fri, May 28th @ 5:00pm Event #2: Player's Championship (8-Game Mixed) - $50,000
Sat, May 29th @ 12:00pm Event #3: NL Broke Dicks - $1,000
Sun, May 30th @ 5:00pm Event #4: Omaha 8 - $1,500
Mon, May 31st @ 12:00pm Event #5: NNL Donkament - $1,500
Tue, Jun 1st @ 12:00pm Event #6: NL Shootout (2000 players max) - $5,000
Tue, Jun 1st @ 5:00pm Event #7: 2-7 Triple Draw Lowball (Limit) - $2,500
Wed, Jun 2nd @ 12:00pm Event #8: NL Donkament - $1,500
Thu, Jun 3rd @ 12:00pm Event #9: PLH - $1,500
Thu, Jun 3rd @ 5:00pm Event #10: Seven-Card Stud Championship - $10,000
Fri, Jun 4th @ 11:00am Event #11: NL Donkament - $1,500
Fri, Jun 4th @ 11:00am Event #12: Limit Hold'em $1,500
Sat, Jun 5th @ 11:00am Event #13: NL Broke Dicks - $1,000
Sat, Jun 5th @ 5:00pm Event #14: 2-7 Draw Lowball (No-Limit) - $1,500
Sun, Jun 6th @ 5:00pm Event #15: Seven-Card Stud 8 Championship - $10,000
Mon, Jun 7th @ 12:00pm Event #16: NL 6-Handed - $1,500
Tue, Jun 8th @ 12:00pm Event #17: NL - $5,000
Wed, Jun 9th @ 12:00pm Event #18: Limit Hold'em - $2,000
Wed, Jun 9th @ 5:00pm Event #19: 2-7 Draw Lowball Championship (NL) - $10,000
Thu, Jun 10th @ 12:00pm Event #20: PLO - $1,500
Thu, Jun 10th @ 5:00pm Event #21: Seven-Card Stud - $1,500
Fri, Jun 11th @ 12:00pm Event #22: Ladies NL Championship - $1,000
Fri, Jun 11th @ 5:00pm Event #23: Limit Hold'em 6-Handed - $2,500
Sat, Jun 12th @ 12:00pm Event #24: NL Broke Dicks - $1,000
Sat, Jun 12th @ 5:00pm Event #25: Omaha 8 Championship - $10,000
Mon, Jun 14th @ 12:00pm Event #26: NL 6-Handed - $2,500
Mon, Jun 14th @ 5:00pm Event #27: Seven-Card Stud 8 - $1,500
Tue, Jun 15th @ 12:00pm Event #28: PLO - $2,500
Tue, Jun 15th @ 5:00pm Event #29: Limit Hold'em Championship - $10,000
Wed, Jun 16th @ 12:00pm Event #30: NL Donkament - $1,500
Wed, Jun 16th @ 5:00pm Event #31: HORSE - $1,500
Thu, Jun 17th @ 12:00pm Event #32: NL 6-Handed - $5,000
Thu, Jun 17th @ 5:00pm Event #33: PLH/PLO - $2,500
Fri, Jun 18th @ 12:00pm Event #34: Seniors NL Championship - $1,000
Fri, Jun 18th @ 5:00pm Event #35: Heads-Up NL Championship (256 max) - $10,000
Sat, Jun 19th @ 12:00pm Event #36: NL Broke Dicks - $1,000
Sat, Jun 19th @ 5:00pm Event #37: HORSE - $3,000
Sun, Jun 20th @ 5:00pm Event #38: PL Hold'em Championship - $10,000
Mon, Jun 21st @ 12:00pm Event #39: NL Shootout (2,000 player max) - $1,500
Mon, Jun 21st @ 5:00pm Event #40: Seven-Card Razz - $2,500
Tue, Jun 22nd @ 12:00pm Event #41: PLO 8 - $1,500
Wed, Jun 23rd @ 12:00pm Event #42: NL Donkament - $1,500
Wed, Jun 23rd @ 5:00pm Event #43: HORSE Championship - $10,000
Thu, Jun 24th @ 12:00pm Event #44: Mixed Limit/NL Hold'em - $2,500
Fri, Jun 25th @ 12:00pm Event #45: NL Donkament - $1,500
Fri, Jun 25th @ 5:00pm Event #46: PLO 8 - $5,000
Sat, Jun 26th @ 12:00pm Event #47: NL Broke Dicks - $1,000
Sat, Jun 26th @ 5:00pm Event #48: Mixed 8-Game - $2,500
Mon, Jun 28th @ 12:00pm Event #49: NL Donkament - $1,500
Mon, Jun 28th @ 5:00pm Event #50: PLO - $5,000
Tue, Jun 29th @ 12:00pm Event #51: Triple Chance NL - $3,000
Wed, Jun 30th @ 12:00pm Event #52: NL 6-Handed $25,000
Wed, Jun 30th @ 5:00pm Event #53: Limit Hold’em Shootout - $1,500
Thu, Jul 1st @ 12:00pm Event #54: NL Broke Dicks - $1,000
Thu, Jul 1st @ 5:00pm Event #55: PLO Championship - $10,000
Fri, Jul 2nd @ 5:00pm Event #56: NL - $2,500
Sat, Jul 3rd @ 2:00pm Ante Up For Africa Poker Tournament - $5,000

Event #57 - $10,000 Main Event Schedule:
July 5: Day 1A
July 6: Day 1B
July 7: Day 1C
July 8: Day 1D
July 9: Day 2A
July 10: Day 2B
July 11: DAY OFF - Media Event
July 12: Day 3
July 13: Day 4
July 14: Day 5
July 15: Day 6
July 16: Day 7
July 17: Day 8

November Nine Schedule:
November 6: Final Table
November 9: Heads Up

If you want to read the official WSOP rules... click here for the pdf.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Dirty Jobs

By Pauly
Punta del Esta, Uruguay

I'm down in Uruguay covering the an event on the Latin America Poker Tour. It's never a dull day on the LAPT. In the last year... I've been in a tournament when it's been raided by federales, got involved in a bar fight in Argentina, and got robbed in Costa Rica. Like I said, it's never a dull day.

The current stop is Punta del Este. I'm covering the event for PokerStars Blog and filling in for Otis. Change100 is actually my boss on this assignment.

Anyway, we're dealing with rigorous conditions here in Uruguay. The mosquitoes are frustratingly annoying. Plus, it's difficult to concentrate with all of these Brazilian and Argentinian models roaming around the tournament area.


Luckily, our photographer Carlos Monti snapped a few photos when he wasn't busy inside the ropes.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

GREAT DEALS! KNPR Auction ENDS SATURDAY

Anyone who loves Vegas needs to at least go browse the wares for sale at KNPR's online auction, which closes up at noon PT on Saturday. Yes, there's that awesome lunch at Wynn with me and Miles -- currently the second highest bid-on item among the lunches-with behind KVBC owner Jim Rogers and KVBC entertainment queen Alicia Jacobs -- but there's also some remarkable offers of tourist-centric interest.

Here are some examples, reflecting the present high bid as I type right now:

* Dinner with Vegas food critics John Curtas and Max Jacobson: $80
* $50 Downtown Cocktail Room gift card: $31
* $350 Wynn shopping certificate: $175
* Dinner for 4 at Nove and VIP admission to Playboy Club or Moon w/bottle of vodka: $401
* Two Penn & Teller tickets: $50
* Two Peepshow tickets: $53
* Two Rita Rudner tickets: $60
* 1 Night + 2 show tickets at Caesars: $250
* Two Santana tickets: $90
* One night and dinner for 2 at the steakhouse at Flamingo: $120
* Two passes for the Flamingo buffet: $22
* Two passes for the Paris buffet: $36
* $50 gift certificate at Aquaknox at Venetian: $37
* $100 gift certificate for the Sterling Brunch: $70
* $100 gift card for Rao's or any Light Group eatery: $76

Obviously, there's a lot more including tickets to The Lion King, Jubilee!, Donny Clay, Donny and Marie, Jersey Boys, Cher, Phantom, O, Ka, Viva Elvis, Love, Mystere, Terry Fator, George Wallace, Blue Man Group, Lance Burton, Criss Angel Believe, Frank Caliendo and Thunder From Down Under, Chippendales, Zumanity and Le Reve.

Go. Now. Check it out. They're working with NPR stations in CA, AZ and Washington as well, so there's all sorts of travel-related deals to be had in those places as well. All the money goes to superb and vital radio programming.

More Tao of Pokerati Episodes: LA Style

By Pauly
Punta del Este, Uruguay


Here are a couple more episodes that Michalski and I recorded last weekend at Commerce during the WPT Invitational.

Episode 4: A Roomful of (Hollywood) Cliches... Michalski explains... "Your intrepid player-correspondents catch up on the first break at the star-studded WPT Celebrity Invitational to talk about how the tourney is going... I've battled back from chip-and-a-chair conditions at a table full of pros (and rebought with Pauly money) to stay alive, while Pauly has been taunted by errant nipples and offered blow in the bathroom. We're not even deep, but we're already taking note of would-be final tableist Trishelle Cannatella, too, before getting distracted by the pathos of Commerce steerage."

Episode 5: ATM Roulette... Michalski explains... "I'm still alive, but Pauly’s out. Before bringing our Hollywood poker weekend to a close, we decide we should get a firsthand taste of the real Commerce degen experience, so Pauly escorts me to the ATM to make good on an a charitable WPT rebuy acquired-at-the-table debt before he jets off to Uruguay."

Thanks for listening to the shortest poker podcast on the intertubes.

Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Maloof: "They're Not Going To Take Over My Company"

I just hung up with George Maloof, who cast doubt on the Financial Times' report that Harrah's has been buying up Palms debt by saying, flat-out: "They're not going to take over my company. It’s so far remote."

Maloof refused to get into any more specifics, repeatedly saying that they're a private company and that they never commented on their financials. I asked whether the Palms had taken a hit during the recession and he answered: "We haven’t been immune to it but we’re doing much better. 2009 was tough for everyone. We’ve been doing much better."

It took a few attempts to get him to react to the FT.com report by Jon Berke and Andrew Ragsly before he finally gave me that quote. Then we had this exchange:

Maloof: Have you tried talking to [Harrah's]?

Me: Yeah, they're not commenting.

Maloof: Yeah, so maybe it’s not true.

And, in fact, not even some of my best Harrah's sources, people who know when Celine Dion has a bowel movement, have any knowledge of any new takeover effort. So it's unclear on that side of things. And it seems similarly clear that the Maloof family is not planning to sell out or default anytime soon.

HARRAH'S BUYING PALMS?!?

The Financial Times has a frightening piece online indicating that Texas Pacific Group, one of the private equity firms that own Harrah's Entertainment, has been buying up the debt of the Palms. The piece relies on anonymous sources, albeit more than one, and notes that "the investment points toward a systematic strategy by Harrah’s to acquire other casinos through their distressed debt."

You know, like how Harrah's just took over Planet Hollywood. Cue scary music.

The report indicates that the Palms is taking a massive hit from the recession and that "the Palms Place condo-hotel launched in 2008 is a poster child for the recent wave of overambitious casino projects as it had only leased one-third of its condo-hotel units by late 2009."

And this:

"Harrah’s might take a more utilitarian approach with Palms and Planet Hollywood, by toning down some of the glitz and boosting appeal to middle market customers. Then the idea would be to feed those customers to other properties in the Harrah’s portfolio."

Now, I'm no Harrah's basher. They do what they do quite well. But come on, Mr. Loveman, not the Palms. No. Please no. It is a special, unique entity operated by a rare owner-operator (George Maloof) who does not have any evident ambition to take over Asia or Pennsylvania or the Republican Party. He just wants to make his one place a cool, fun place to be. That's all. Is that so wrong?

I've got a call in to George Maloof. I'm hoping he can clarify. A top Harrah's executive source of mine said he/she hasn't heard anything at all and this was one of the first to know about the Planet Hollywood deal. So who knows. But the whole idea just makes me break out in hives.

This Week's LVW Col: President's Pianist

Here's this week's Las Vegas Weekly column. My full interview with David Osborne is found here. Thanks to the Osbornes for this image below. -sf

The Presidential Pianist
David Osborne keeps the politics to a minimum as he keeps Commanders in Chief entertained

By STEVE FRIESS

David Osborne needed to postpone the conversation for a half hour or so.

"The White House is calling," he says with a trace of giddiness in his voice. "They want to know if I want to come meet the president tomorrow morning at Green Valley High School." Totally understandable. In fact, it fit perfectly into the raison d'etre of any interview with this man, a pianist who plays in bars at the Bellagio five nights a week.

Surprisingly, though, Osborne seemed excited. It's not like he's new at this; he's a regular at the White House. He's played at Christmastime there pretty much every year since late in Bill Clinton's second term, has Jimmy Carter's cell number and e-mail address on his iPhone, and has tickled the ivories at one location or another for six presidents.

"It never gets old," he says later when the arrangements for his Obama meet-and-greet were squared away. "Each and every time, it's so exciting. I can't even really tell you why."

Read the rest at LasVegasWeekly.Com

SPJ Event Canceled?

A poster calling himself "Las Vegas Editor" wrote in a comment regarding the off-record political experts panel that the local Society of Professional Journalists chapter planned to host at UNLV this weekend has been canceled.

I'm running out on assignment and don't have time to find out for sure if this is so or why. While I'd love to believe that the folks involved decided it was a bad idea after I blogged it and the popular Romenesko journalism site picked it up, I suspect the real reason is that the best political journalists in Vegas will still be in Carson City dealing with the special legislative session.

Now, whether the event is ever rescheduled in the off-record configuration will, in fact, show if wiser minds are prevailing. But let me say right now that I did not intend to suggest the SPJ folks had nefarious motives. I just thought it was a bad idea.

Wednesday Funnies

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK! RUN AWAY!!!

I do so love the weekly R-J neighborhood section The View, especially their bizarro approach to health coverage. (Remember this terrifying headline, re: brain cancer and headaches?) This is the art above a piece that questions whether digital rectal prostate exams are helpful. (Wasn't that a clinical way of putting it?) Just LOOK at this glee in this guy's eyes! I'm hopeful those plaques behind him are just props! The best part is that the first paragraph of the piece decries how "thick-headed" men are about going to the doctor for these exams!

I thought I'd lighten up the mid-week mood around here by trotting out the oddities and amusements I collect. Like, for instance, this was sent in from reader Joey R. in New Orleans from a gay dating website.


He wanted to know how many 9-foot guys were signing up. I just wonder if any of them get dates. Lord knows if there were 9-foot gay guys out there, the NBA would be a pride parade.

To answer my own question from last week, no, AT&T cell service was still miserable at Aria when I was trying to cover the president's visit there. And it got to me right when I spotted compromised TV journalist Nina Radetich, whose nickname now is "Nina Lies At 11." She was there in the light of day covering Obama, so I tried to Tweet a photo with a little snark. But it took KLAS's @JonHumbert to look carefully enough to see WHAT I was trying to Tweet:


Speaking of the Obama visit, I was on the job for AOL News. It's a news website. So what choice was I supposed to select on the White House's credentials form?


And since I've been banging around the R-J plenty lately, I found this kinda fun. The Society of Professional Journalists is having its 2010 nation confab here. And look at the speaker getting top billing:


Perhaps the Greenspun Media Group's web guru will talk about how deliberately infusing newsrooms with hubris and conflict is a great way to undermine your operations and waste tons of money?

Finally, this is just weird, funny and bad journalism all in one! Last week, the R-J did a piece about all the little things that cities have had to cut in these tough economic times. And here were the first two paragraphs:

If you want to know how deep local governments must dig for ways to cut costs these days, go ask the folks at the Henderson Senior Center.

Better ask them soon, though, before they get tired and cranky.

Uh wow. Let's stereotype and insult some oldsters! They only account for, oh, 80 percent of our readership! Woo hoo!

Legislature Gunning For Media Now

After I blogged about how the Legislature could find $800,000+ by eliminating its government handout to the likes of small government advocate and publisher Sherman Frederick and free counties from having to print the property tax rolls each year, I heard from State Sen. David Parks.

He wrote me to say he's going to toss the idea into the mix. He tried twice as an assemblyman to eliminate this corporate welfare deal and it made it through both houses in 2009 before Frederick called Gov. Gibbons for a favor, as documented by Jon Ralston last year. Wroth Parks:

"We should put the repeal of property rolls on if we can find a bill that has a nexus. That will be more difficult and it has to be with something that the governor won’t veto."

But wait! There's more! Parks also noted that newspapers in Nevada enjoy a sales tax exemption on ink and newsprint. He'd like to see that undone as well this week as legislators try to scare up $887 million to fill a monster budget gap in the special session.

Now, I'm not so sure I like that. Printing the tax rolls is a completely unnecessary exercise. Ink and paper are important and the media is already in a tough spot financially. One is a gen-u-ine guvment payoff, the other is an effort to help a critical industry do its job and stay solvent. Such sales tax deductions are common; an effort to kill it in Colorado, where it amounted to about $10 million in savings, failed earlier this month. So it's not that much money anyway, seeing how Colorado is double the population and the circulation of its leading paper, the Denver Post, is probably larger than the circulation of all Nevada daily newspapers combined. Our sales tax rate, however, is a lot higher.

That said, it looks like Sherm Frederick is going to have to hire back on his expensive lobbyists, ask toady Nevada Press Association Executive Director Barry Smith to trot out fresh pile of steaming bullshit and get his pal Gibbons on speed-dial. And when the R-J Editorial Board endorses our Love Guv in the GOP primary, you'll know why! Read between the lines of their blather about how he did his best to "shrink government" and you'll see the invisible words "except when it came to our gravy train, which he graciously kept intact."

Speaking of which, David Parks is running this year for Clark County Commission, so taking on the R-J's government payoff is pretty brave. The R-J editorial board has praised his fiscal discipline many times over the years, but they only meant it when it was cutting somebody else's perks.

My Alleged R-J Conflict Of Interest

Got this interesting note from a brave soul called "Anonymous" earlier tonight and I thought it might be worthwhile to dispose of it here as opposed to as a response in the comments section of that post. I'm sure this person is not the only one to wonder what my motivations are regarding the Review-Journal. So here's what was written:

I know you won't put this comment on your blog because you don't want others knowing that you have a chip on your shoulder when it comes to the Review Journal. You really hate the RJ for not hiring you back, don't you? Why don't you disclose this fact when you write about them? That you tried to return to the RJ after you left only they wouldn't hire you. You want to go accusing other journalists of being unethical and yet you don't follow a basic tenet of journalistic ethics, which is to disclose such conflicts. Put the information out so others can decide whether they want to stand behind your criticisms or take them with a grain of salt. You might actually earn some respect then.

There ya are, Anon. Not only will I put it on the blog but I'll make sure as many people as possible see it. Fancy that.

So, let's have at it, shall we?

I worked for the Review-Journal from 1996 to 1999, during which time I covered the education and county government beats. And when I returned to Vegas in late 2002 after stints at the South Florida Sun-Sentinel and then in Beijing, China, I never, ever even considered the idea of returning to the Review-Journal. Anyone who suggests otherwise is an out-and-out liar. Not even Sherman Frederick, who has attacked me and suggested nefarious motives on his blog a while back, ever claimed my issues stem from some desire to get back into the womb. (I'll get back to why Simple Sherman thinks I am this way in a moment.)

It just never crossed my mind because I was making far too much money from far too prestigious a set of publications when I returned to Vegas in 2002.

You see, I freelanced for nearly two years in Asia for USA Today, The New York Times and some others. I only returned to Vegas in 2002 because I was hoping to make a very troubled first marriage work and my partner of nearly 10 years was a medical student here. He was only going to remain for another 18 months and then we expected to move on together to Chicago, his hometown. Getting a full-time job wouldn't have made any sense, but more importantly I wanted to keep freelancing and had the contacts to make it work immediately.

My marriage failed anyway and I ended up staying here. But by the time I realized Vegas wasn't a temporary stop for me, I was making more money and enjoyed more freedom than I thought even existed in journalism. Not to mention, after covering something like China for the largest American daily newspaper, you just can't go back to covering a local city council. Or, at least, I couldn't.

The freedom was pretty important, too. When I took off for China, I thought I was done with journalism after jobs in Rockford, Vegas and Florida. But in China I realized it wasn't journalism I disliked, it was beat reporting. When you cover the school district for a local paper and you notice an interesting trend in, say, the gaming business, they make you hand off your idea to the gaming reporter. I always wanted to do it myself and I have prided myself on being extraordinarily versatile. That's what gets me going.

More proof: In the fall of 2003, I turned down a job at the Washington Post in its Montgomery County bureau. It shocked me to do it; a staff post at one of the top dailies had always been my pre-China, pre-Vegas, post-Northwestern dream. But when the chance presented itself, I couldn't see myself as happy doing it. I was helping to set the national media agenda for Vegas; covering a suburb even for the Post seemed so mundane. Also, I'd have had to take a pay cut.

I never have or would consider reapplying to the Review-Journal, but I retain many close friends there and believe that the paper's journalists are, on the whole, excellent. In fact, my broadsides at the Review-Journal's management are largely because it angers me that the journalists they hire are never given the proper tools to reach their potentials and give this community the media it needs and deserves.

My antipathy for the R-J stems directly from the fact that their web operation is a joke that could imperil the entire enterprise in the near future and their publisher consistently makes decisions and says illogical or untrue statements that harm his credibility as well as that of his staff. Any publisher who pretends he's rabidly against big government but personally calls the governor to beg to keep his own gravy train rolling, for instance, is a hypocrite who jeopardizes his own reporters' ability to do their jobs properly.

It's hypocrisy and bad journalism that rankle me, and if you read this blog long enough you'd see I praise loads and loads of R-J stories when they deserve it. You'll also see that when I screw up, I'm pretty loud about that, too. Also, I don't think anyone can claim the Sun gets an easy ride, either, especially lately.

Now, Sherm Frederick believes I am a disgruntled former employee. He gets this because at one point on this blog, I noted that in the late 1990s, when Jon Ralston was still at the paper and starting up his daily e-mail blasts, R-J reporters were forced to contribute without any compensation. This is intuitive now -- in fact, I advocate that journalists participate in all sorts of media and I do so myself without additional pay as a regular matter of course -- but back then this seemed like an unfair burden. So, in silent protest, I would forward the email blasts to some of my sources and friends to save them the money of subscribing. I'm not proud of this, it was juvenile, shortsighted and unprofessional, but the only reason anyone even knows is because I apologized to Jon on this blog! That I remain embittered over something so ridiculous 12 years later is absurd, but a lot of what Simple Sherman writes is absurd, so whatcha gonna do?

Yet the question now becomes, where does an anonymous poster who flings baseless accusations without any evidence or even a shred of logic on his/her side get off suggesting who deserves respect and who doesn't? Agree or don't agree with me, but at least I sign my name on every last view I air, every last accusation I assert. That, it seems to me, is where respect and credibility arise. Being right and arguing a good case, too, helps.

So, no, Anonymous, you won't get another shot on this blog unless you identify yourself, even in private and off-record via email. But here's what I'll do. I'm going to put a little link up in the left rail of this blog to this very post. And so from here forward, it will be easy for people to know what my history is with the Review-Journal and decide what my conflicts, if anyone can call it that, may be. MmmK?

Is NinaGate Now DarcyGate?

Nevada' Deputy Attorney General Robert Giunta today dropped the state's lawsuit against the auto repair shop TireWorks, which was the subject of some scathing reports by KTNV's Darcy Spears. This was the case in which Spears' colleague and anchor Nina Radetich was caught on a recording recommending her boyfriend's damage-control public-relations expertise in advance of Spears' reports.

It turns out, Nina may have been something of a red herring. Giunta's statement was surprisingly blunt and a serious indictment of a suspect form of journalism in which reporters and authorities collaborate:

"The complaints against Tire Works represented only a tiny fraction of the automotive complaints received by the State and represented a miniscule number of cases relative to the total number of customers that Tire Works has served. The Consumer Affairs Division's decision to permit the news media to accompany them on the compliance checks was the reason the case was so exaggerated and received so much publicity. The net effect was that the allegations were made to appear much larger than they were."

The Consumer Affairs Division no longer exists because the Legislature killed it the last time they were scrounging around for budgetary nickels. What they had done was take a car to three different TireWorks locations and received three different repair estimates, then sued over deception. They also sold the car before TireWorks could re-examine it as evidence in the suit against them.

The case became famous because of Radetich's outrageous actions, for which there is no question she should no longer be a working journalist. But Giunta makes an important point that is more important because anchorette influence peddling is not nearly as common as what Spears did here.

TireWorks, he's saying, was simply unlucky to have been the target when the Consumer Affairs Division allowed Spears along for the ride. This, of course, is the problem with all "journalism" of this ilk, made glamorous by Chris Hansen of MSNBC. It's portrayed disproportionately just because a journalist has been given access.

Yet in retrospect, this wasn't Spears as investigative journalist. It was Spears as stenographer. She didn't do any investigatin', she just made a really, really big deal out what the investigators said they had found when she was on hand. Investigators file charges and lawsuits every day that don't lead the news; this one did because Spears had video. She didn't get anything because she's a crack reporter, she got it because, I'm betting, someone at this agency decided that a little sensationalism could bolster the case for the Legislature to not put them out of business. Any which way, it's clear now that authorities were ginning up the drama to get on the teevee.

Unsurprisingly, KTNV General Manager Jim Prather defended his staff even as they exhibit shoddy journalistic practices. No, in order to lose one's job over there, you have to be a well-liked 25-year veteran who gets a minor traffic citation that is later dropped.

[Hat tip to Mike Spadoni for the alert on this.]

$800,000 For The NV Legislature

Hey Nevada Legislators!

The Review-Journal heartily advocates spending reductions to solve the $887 million budget hole that forced all of you to Carson City for a special session. Why not take them at their word, then, and cut off Sherman Frederick's totally unnecessary nanny-state guvmint handout? It's only worth about $800,000, but that's good for five or six school-district administrators, right?

How? Gosh, it's so easy! Stop requiring the counties to publish the property tax rolls that are already easily available for free on the Internet. Voila! It can even be cast as a "green" initiative, too! In Clark County, that was 576 pages per home subscriber in December and Clark County by law had to pay the Review-Journal $555,000 for the honor. Here's what it looked like:


Now, now, Tom Mitchell and Sherman Frederick. Don't get all dewy-eyed about the unwired and underprivileged now! You sure as hell don't give a damn when they have to take a few extra steps on their own, and I thought you were champions of people's can-do spirit? Anybody can go to the Clark County Public Library and have a librarian help them look it up if they don't have a pooter or can't figure out a website that's a lot easier to navigate than, uh, ReviewJournal.Com!

Not to mention, the Internet version is so much more user-friendly. You can easily pivot to your neighbors' parcels to compare and contrast if you wish! In the dead-tree version, you have to know the names of your neighbors and who the hell knows that anymore?

Last year, the Legislature actually passed a bill to do away with this but the high-minded, libertarian and super-duper ethical Sherman Frederick himself called Gov. Jim Gibbons to plead for the veto that killed it according to a report by Jon Ralston. Y'see, Frederick doesn't believe in government handouts unless it's his.

During that session, Nevada Press Association Executive Director Barry Smith told lawmakers that printing the rolls provides "third-party accountability." Smith, in this instance, is a liar and knows it. The R-J doesn't expend an ounce of journalistic effort fact-checking or reviewing the tax rolls they print. It's advertising and is treated as such.

So there's some $800,000 across the state that can be returned to county coffers and, in turn, could be kept by the state. It's easy. It's completely unnecessary. And how awesome will it be to watch Sherman Frederick betray everything he writes to keep his own welfare check coming in?

Covering (Up) The Election

As you can see, the campaign managers for U.S. Sen. Harry Reid and two of the Republicans seeking to unseat him this year, Sue Lowden and Danny Tarkanian, were getting together to chat about media coverage of campaigns. Cool, right? Except then there's this part:


Let's see if I get this straight. The Society of Professional Journalists, protectors of press freedoms and openness, is holding an event with three major political figures and they've granted a blanket of privacy to them? And the acting dean of the UNLV journalism school is not just endorsing but presiding over this?

I'm not the only one who finds this weird and unsavory. Two of my favorite experts from the Poynter Institute, a highly regarded journalism think-tank in Florida where I've won two scholarships in my career to attend sessions, agree. Kelly McBride wrote back succinctly: "I think it's BS for such an event to be off the record." And her colleague, Bob Steele, wrote me: "I can't think of any good reason I would agree to those terms for this type of session, but I'd like to know what they mean by that term in this case, and I would like to know WHY they've agreed to such a standard."

Right. WHY. Why would these people get such a significant promise? I asked Charlie Zobell, the managing editor at the Las Vegas Review-Journal, longtime instructor at the UNLV j-school and coordinator of this event. (Disclosure: He was also my boss from 1996-99.) His response:

It is our standard practice to have all SPJ meetings "on the record." In this case, however, the panelists were convincing in their request that the discussion be off the record.

After many previous elections, we have invited political consultants and campaign managers to critique local coverage. This is the first time we have asked them to give us their views at the beginning of the election cycle. We definitely thought they would be more forthcoming and the discussion would be of greater value to us if the meeting itself were not covered as a news event.

I discussed their request with other members of our local chapter before agreeing to the arrangement. Anyone who attends is free to try to interview the panelists after the meeting.

Yeah, I figured this was the logic, that the participants "would be more forthcoming." Except what does that mean? These are seasoned political professionals. One of them is the political director for the most powerful Democrat in Congress. They're also competing. What kind of information could or would they impart? And what awkwardness is this going to create should they actually say something of value?

Try this. Suppose Harry Reid's guy says, "We know the R-J is out to get us and so we're going to only give interviews to the Sun." Wars between major politicians and major news outlets is news and if you don't believe me, see Obama v Fox. The public needs to know that! But nobody can report it? And later, when it comes to be an evident strategy, the reporters who were there are in the awful situation of still not being allowed to observe it because maybe they wouldn't have had anything more than a hunch but for the fact that the strategy was essentially confirmed at this session?

The promise of "off the record" is supposed to be very special. It's something that journalists are really only supposed to agree to when they think they might get some important information that is crucial to the public that advances a story. We usually let sources we know go there more than we should, but that's because of long-term relationships. Typically, if information provided off-record can be confirmed by other sources, it can be published but not attributed.

In this case, however, it's being used precisely in the opposite manner. It's being granted to highly trained political hands who are the savviest in the state at dealing with journalists. And whatever they say is actually supposed to be locked away in a vault.

This is very, very bad role-modeling for UNLV students. Like Steele, I find it hard to imagine what information would be imparted that would be worth this bargain. And it's terrible precedent for SPJ, which will now have to explain to future panelists why they, too, don't get the deal.

Also, as longtime UNLV journalism professor Mary Hausch noted to me today, it's unenforceable. She wonders if SPJ will make attendees sign something or swear an oath. Would a journalist organization actually forcibly remove someone who refused to agree to these terms? Can you imagine? And the rest of the "journalists" there wouldn't report THAT?

"It is highly unusual to have a meeting that is off-the-record in its entirety and, from a practical standpoint, I'm not sure how you can guarantee that to the speakers," Hausch said.

You can't. Someone can Tweet it or put it on YouTube or post it to a blog anonymously or send the information to someone unemcumbered by the promise made on their behalf, like me. Then, if it's really newsworthy, the rest of the participants will either have to cover it or be derelict reporters.

And you know who knows that better than anyone? The three political dudes who negotiated this awesome arrangement. While Zobell says that they're now being provided a space to be more candid and open, these guys know there's no such thing. They're never going to tell even a roomful of sworn-to-secrecy-journalists what they'd tell one another over drinks or what they'd advise their clients. And they're sure as sugar never going to say anything useful that their opponents' strategists can use.

That is precisely WHY these events are more useful in post-mortem and not in the thick of a developing story when participants still have so much to gain or lose. And if this is a good time to do this because it's right when it's all ramping up, then go get the strategists of the LAST election, who can be honest and sober and uncompromised.

So SPJ has given away the journalist's most precious negotiating card, set a terrible precedent for itself and set a very bad example for the students for ... nothing. That's really a shame.

* * *

P.S. It's not clear it matters anyway. The event is Saturday and all of the top political journalists in Nevada are likely to still be in Carson City covering the Nevada Legislature's special session. But even if they weren't, which one of them worth their salt would attend such an event and risk being compromised as I've described?

Cash Plays and the Return of the Tao of Pokerati

By Pauly
Punta del Este, Uruguay

I made a token appearance on Jeremiah Smith's podcast Cash Plays over at Poker Road. The topic of discussion for this episode is Rush Poker. Other guests include Andy Bloch and Thomas Fuller.

Click here to download Cash Plays.

* * * * *

Michalski ventured out of Las Vegas and headed to Los Angeles last weekend. We recorded a couple of episodes of your favorite and quickest podcast in poker...

Episode 1: Slumming It in Not-So-Beverly Hills... Michalski explains... "As Pauly and I are prone to do whenever we get together, we couldn't help ourselves from kicking into 3-minute-podcast mode in Los Angeles this weekend as we both got ready to take on the Hollywooded up field at the WPT Celebrity Invitational for the LAPC... and explore How-TF we got into the field in the first place."

Episode 2: Commerce She Bangs... Michalski explains... "Pauly and I arrive at the Commerce to see more big-name degens than we do celebrities, but it's still early..."

Episode 3: Newcomer's Welcome... Michalski explains... "We were still waiting for cards to get in the air at the WPT Celebrity Invitational when we found the red-carpeted smoker's terrace at the Commerce. The first ever PartyPoker Party in LA, too -- LA: It's Very Different than America -- as Tao of Pokerati runs into its first ever security issue."

Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Show is UP: The Presidential Podcast

It's quite a presidential week here in Vegas, so the podcast reflects that with a fascinating chat with Bellagio pianist David Osborne as well as a brief, strangely contentious one with our old pal George Maloof. Fun stuff. Click on the date below to make it play or right-click to save it and listen at your leisure. You can subscribe, too, (it's free!) in iTunes or in Zune.

Feb. 15: A Presidential Podcast

What’s it like to host the president in your home? What’s it like to play the piano for the president at his home, that big white mansion in Washington D.C.? We’re about to answer both those questions, Vegas style. Palms owner George Maloof explains how he came to know President Obama and describes the hoopla around hosting him Thursday night for a Democratic fundraiser. Then Bellagio’s pianist David Osbourne talks about performing for six U.S. presidents including the last three at the White House. And while presidents are interesting, Osbourne’s story about the last vice president, Dick Cheney, is particularly bizarre.

In Banter: Harrah's gets P-Ho, Vegas gets Obama love, CityCenter does NOT get Obama love, another Lake Las Vegas closure, Chinese New Year is fun, the Viva Elvis party was not fun and why red ketchup is the new blue tape.

Links to stuff discussed:

Guest host Amy and Bay’s podcast, Grits to Glitz
David Osborne’s website where you can buy his music
YouTube channel for David Osborne work
Planet Hollywood is now part of Harrah's
The R-J’s piece on Robert Earl’s future
A photo of the psychadelic-looking Beijing Noodle No. 9
Articles about Casino Montelago, Hawaiian Tropic, Steve Wyrick and Krave problems
Greenspun v Station Casinos, per the Wall Street Journal
VegasMate, the iPhone app, from RateVegas.Com
Steve’s column about his VegasMate experience
The AP on the proposed McCarran liquor store plan
Steve’s AOLNews.Com and blog post on Chinese New Year
A summary of Viva Elvis reviews and Steve’s review
The classic shot of Gene Simmons pawing Amy’s hair
Steve’s AOLNews.Com piece on Obama’s visit and VegasHappensHere.Com posts on the Bellagio suite and Murren’s hopes

BID ON LUNCH WITH US 4 KNPR

Yes, both of us. I somehow snookered the reclusive Mr. Miles Smith into being part of the deal this year. So you can go to this link and bid. Wynn Las Vegas is graciously donating lunch at the choices listed in the item description.

The item was only posted today, so go check it out. The auction closes on Feb. 27.

This is part of a massive online auction that KNPR is doing this year along with an alliance of other stations across the West. Anyone interested in Vegas from anywhere in the world needs to get thee to the site and browse the hundreds of listings for books, hotel stays, meals, tickets, bar tabs and lunches or dinners with many notables including Elaine Wynn, food critics John Curtas and Max Jacobson (together!), ace political pundit Jon Ralston and KVBC entertainment queen Alicia Jacobs.

The readers of this blog have a long history of supporting this event and I hope you all do it again. Last year, KNPR General Manager Flo Rogers told me that VegasHappensHere.Com was responsible for the third highest number of referral hits. So go do it again AND save a load on all sorts of neat stuff!

The Vegas Poll That Went Awry

I noticed on Dave McKee's blog that he was touting the fact that he's been "short-listed" for best Vegas blog by the folks at Las Vegas CityLife in their annual reader survey. He's a regular contributor and didn't disclose that in that blog item, but OK. Anyhow, I was curious, of course, to see if this blog had received a similar honor, so I headed to the site on Saturday to check it out.

Sadly, the site accused me of trying to double-vote, see?


Uh, no. I have not. My memory's bad, but it's not THAT bad. So I tried again on other computers, tried cleaning out the cookies, tried other browsers. Alas, still no luck. Then I went to Twitter and asked others to try it and everyone else who did had the same problem.

Now this poll had been up for MORE THAN A WEEK (according to McKee's post) and has had a full-page ad in the print edition promoting it, so I was a little surprised when CityLife editor Steve Sebelius Tweeted back that he'd "check" on the problem. That meant that a major Vegas publication had had a broken poll for ages and nobody bothered to tell anyone? Nobody over there even noticed? When there's a broken link on this blog, I get a half-dozen emails on it within an hour. But OK.

Anyhow, just now, I tried again. And voila, I got in. Sort of. I answered the first 50 questions but, when I tried to advance to the next part, it froze. In fact, it's been 20 minutes now and the site is STILL saying:


Fascinating. I suspect this is the work of the crack Stephens Media tech staff that brought us search bars that, a week into the fab Review-Journal redesign, still don't show the user what he/she is typing. Try it yourself! See?


Saddest part is once CityLife actually fixes its poll problems, I betcha a deck of Chippendales playing cards it's going to remember my IP address and tell me...


P.S. How does Dave McKee know he's short-listed for best blog if the poll's not in the print edition and nobody can get to that part of the poll online? (I still don't know if this blog has been nominated.)

P.P.S. I'll have more to say about the poll once I can actually take all of it, but I'm already perturbed. Some of the items short-listed aren't even open anymore and there's no opportunity to write-in a choice. The latter makes the entire poll, already simply a promotional exercise, even more irrelevant and gamed.

The WPT Celebrity Invitational, Part 2: I Could Use Some Brass Knuckles

By Pauly
Los Angeles, CA

I made my way through the tables inside the black-draped tournament room at Commerce Casino. Record-setting field of Johnny Dramas and Troy McClures. 567 players in all, but not a single PokerStars pro in the room (all in Vegas playing at the NAPT Venetian or on the EPT/LAPT) with a sprinkling of Full Tilt Pros all around. Big dogs like Seidel, Jesus, Lederer, Matusow, and Bloch. I passed Mike Sexton and Linda Johnson along with a couple of the Van Patten clan. I spotted a few more pros. Sebok. DeVo. YellowSub. Chainsaw. Todd Brunson. Unabomber. Liz Lieu. Kristy Gazes. Scott Clements. JC Tran and Chino wandered around as alternates checking out the hot tail inside the ropes. They were not used to seeing so many glamorous people at a poker table.

The entities known as Wicked Chops Poker wandered into place. I had hoped that Snake and I would be seated together. He was anticipating an early evening since he planned to run the Pasadena Marathon on Sunday morning. If he was gonna play loose and dump chips... I wanted to be one of the recipients.

I took my seat around 8:03, three minutes after the scheduled start time and found myself the only one at my table. The adjacent table featured Jesus and Jerry Buss, which meant that one of the many Asian girls in his harem would be sweating their sugar daddy. In case you're wondering... Buss wears white Nike socks. But does Buss gets Nike socks for free, or if one of his bitches fetches a new package for him every week?

Trishelle from the Real World Las Vegas took a seat at the table behind mine. She established herself as one of the original reality show trollops after a steamy threesome in the hot tub. Trishelle is a Swahili word for "mountainous regions", which was apparent after I got a close up of her twin donuts. Wow. Lemme tell ya... them some tig ol' bitties. No fancy lighting or camerawork there. I salute her plastic surgeon.

After a couple of minutes of me chatting up the dealer, one player finally sat down -- a French-Canadian pro named Rene who wore a turtleneck. A gold necklace dangled around his neck and he looked like one of John Gotti's crew. I noticed that Rene sported his WSOP bracelet around his wrist. Normally that's sort of gauche, but this was one of the acceptable instances when bling matters.

By 8:15, my table began to fill up. I sorta recognized the guy next to me but like so many actors and actresses in the room, they looked vaguely familiar.

My Starting Table:
Seat 1: Local pro who wore sunglasses
Seat 2: Guy with tattoos (then later... Kirk Acevedo aka Joy Toye from Band of Brothers)
Seat 3: Rene the French-Canadian pro
Seat 4: Loud Fat Guy who does voices for cartoons
Seat 5: Unknown actor
Seat 6: Erik Palladino (from ER)
Seat 7: Unknown Woman (not an actress but someone in the industry)
Seat 8: Mark Thompson (local L.A. weatherman)
Seat 9: Nick Gonzalez (2009 runner-up)
Seat 10: Your Hero

I quickly found out that Nick Gonzalez lost to Freddy Deeb heads-up in last year's WPT Invitational. He held the distinction of being the last celebrity standing. That juice goes a long way in celebrity poker playing circles, and anyone in this town will tell you that any type of buzz is good buzz, especially since he was running around for auditions sweating it out during pilot season.

Change100 went downstairs to play cash games and I sent her a text inquiring about the actors at my table. I figured that I'd consult the former Hollywood exec about the background of my thespian tablemates.

"Palladino got fired from ER after two seasons for mouthing off to the show's producers," she texted me. "And Nick is a hipster actor who was in The OC and the new Melrose Place."

Ah, that's where I remembered Nick, from his role as D.J. the yard guy who was schtupping Mischa Barton's character in The O.C.. Like most of the actors that I meet in Hollywood, I was much taller than him in person. Since Nick Gonzalez was the celeb who went the deepest the previous year, he garnered a significant amount of attention from the cameras. For the first couple of levels, the WPT film crew hovered around our table. A constant flow of photographers snapped photos and I accepted the fact that my ugly mug would be the "most cropped" photo at the WPT Invitational.

Nick said hello to me when he sat down and everyone else pretty much ignored me. A couple of friends in the media stopped by like BJ, Foiled Coup, and Matt Waldron, along with a few random pros who said hello as they wandered past my table. At that point, the folks at my end of the table realized that I might be someone important.

"You look familiar. How do I know you? You a pro?" asked Nick Gonzalez.

"No. I'm a writer. Do you read Bluff Magazine?"

Nick Gonzalez mentioned that he had just met my editor at Bluff, Lance Bradley, when he played in the PokerStars NAPT Celebrity Charity tournament less than 24 hours earlier in Las Vegas. The drunk guy from ER sitting across from me was super drunk and he kept apologizing for his high state of inebriation. He wanted to know where else I wrote. I told him that I'm also the author of Lost Vegas.

"Lost Vegas? Oh, I read that. Good stuff," barked the drunk guy from ER as he took a swig of his vodka cocktail.

I didn't have the heart to call his bullshit. I picked up an obvious tell... Lost Vegas hasn't even been published yet, but that's the sort of shady shtick that the denizens of Hollywood sling back and forth. Even if you have no idea who someone is, you always tell them that you admire their work. It's such a terrible Hollyweird cliche, but deep down actors really want to know that they are relevant... even if you have to lie to them to massage their egos.

"Thanks," I said. "You're no slouch yourself. You practically carried ER during your time on the show."

That was a low blow on my part, but sometimes writers have to put actors in their place.

The continual cameras were my least favorite part of sitting next to Nick, although that's just a relatively minor gripe because I certainly understood the purpose. And hey, who knows if I get on TV so my mom can see me. Regardless, the positives of sitting next to Nick far outweighed the negatives. For example, Nick is a handsome actor who knew an impressive number of actresses in the room. A steady stream of starlets stopped by our table to flirt, schmooze, and sneak in a few seconds of camera time. I didn't mind the starlet parade one bit.

Trishelle sat only a few feet away and spent a lot of time leaning over to talk to Nick, but of course, always within camera shot. I can't tell you how many times I turned my head to be greeted by Trishelle's misty mountain tops. I snuck a few peeks down her dress like a leering deviant out of a Bukowski poem. Judge me all you want. You would have done the same fuckin' thing. Magnificent. The melons are currently in season.

One starlet, who played one of the cheerleaders from Friday Night Lights, became a frequent visitor to our table often bouncing by with the grace of a ballerina. She had recently gotten engaged and happily showed off her ring.

"How many carats?" asked drunk ER guy.

"3.4," she proudly announced.

Jaws dropped. Silence. Even drunk ER guy was at a loss for words. The rock on her finger was the size of a bull's testicle. If she sported that on the NYC subway, she'd get her hand lopped off in seconds. God knows how many miners from Botswana shed blood for that warped symbol of eternal love.

The table banter was fun, friendly, and at times kinda loud with most of the chatter was down on my end between ER guy, the weatherman, and Nick. The obnoxious fat guy who did voiceovers asked everyone if they were going to rebuy. The Invitational was a freeroll (only the final table getting paid out with $100,000 to first place), but you had a chance to rebuy until the first few levels with $200 going to Chrysalis, a local organization that helps homeless people find jobs. Mostly everyone at the table acknowledged that they would rebuy.

"I don't make money," he barked. "I'm a former child actor. My parents stole all my money. That's why I'm doing cartoon voices for Nickelodeon. Being fat is funny when you're a kid. Not anymore. Only the pretty people in Hollywood make money."

The looseness of the tournament equated into less hands per hour. The action was slow. S....s.....l....l...l....l.....o....o....o....o...o...o...o...w. Seemed like everyone was Hollywooding it up on every hand for the cameras. Gah. Fuckin' actors. The excruciating pace might have driven me nuts if I didn't have Twitter to keep me occupied during the downtime or the fragrant-smelling starlets buzzing by Nick to keep us distracted.

ER guy showed up a little late to the table because he was drinking at the bar. We got involved in a hand together on the first hand we played. I had As-Qs in the big blind. He had K-K. The flop was Queen-high and I'm lucky that I didn't lose any more chips than I did. I lost another hand shortly after with Q-Q and within the first forty minutes, I said goodbye to 40% of my 10K starting stack. To complicate matters, I went card dead for a couple of levels and rarely played a hand.

Due to the lack of cocktail servers, the drunk ER guy took matters into his own hands and fetched beers at the cash bar. He took a huge chiplead when he busted two players on the same hand. Woman in seat 7 shoved on the flop of a rainbow Jack-high board. The fat guy who did the cartoon voices also shoved. ER guy had them both covered. He tanked as he and the fat guy jawed back and forth for several minutes. ER guy took a couple of long pulls off of a bottle of Michelob Ultra and finally called all-in with K-J. Both of his opponents tabled A-J. He was fucked until a King spiked on the river. ER guy jumped out of his chair. Cameras swooped in. Beers got spilled. One of the girls from Jerry Buss' harem curiously wandered over. The two players he busted were stunned by the sick beat. The fat guy lost his shit because wasn't going to rebuy. He was dunzo as the drunk ER guy raked in a pot worth over 55K.

My stack continued to shrink until I doubled up before the break. David Plastik had just busted from a different table and wandered over to talk to Nick. I had the small blind. Drunk ER guy limped. New guy to his left raised 1K. Nick popped him to 3K from the button. I woke up to A-A and shoved for 6K. Drunk ER guy slurred an eloquent speech before he folded. New guy asked the dealer which one of us was the button. With all the chips on our end of the table, the button was buried underneath. The dealer dug it out and he folded. Nick tanked. Without fail, the one time I have Aces and I'm in a hand with Nick, the camera crew took a break. He reluctantly called. I asked him if he had Jacks as I flipped over my Aces. He shook his head and tabled Kd-Jd. The flop was 10-7-8 rainbow. Fuck me.

"How about a nine," said Plastik as I flashed him my best version of the evil NYC stinkeye.

"Keep it low dealer," I said under my breath.

The turn was a blank. The river was a ten. The new guy smashed his hand on the table. He obviously folded A-10. Nick went silent as he pushed over some chips. I won a small hand before the break and found myself around 16K.

I opted not to rebuy. I made a couple of donations to Haiti earthquake relief, even though I technically had not worked since November. I skipped the rebuy and went downstairs for the duration of the break. My buddy Chicago Bob stopped by to sweat the event and I met up with Change100 who took a break from her cash game session. Michalski and I recorded an episode of Tao of Pokerati where I described the tournament area as a "room full of cliches." I used the rest of the break to jot down notes.

On one of the first hand back, we had major fireworks. A couple of players limped. The new guy raised on the button. The weatherman in the small blind agonized over a decision. He eventually shoved. Nick re-shoved from the big blind. The new guy insta-called.

New Guy: A-A
Weatherman: 10-10
Nick: K-K

The Aces held up (he actually made a four-flush). Last year's runner up was out, along with the weatherman. Both busto on the same hand. The new guy was over 60K in chips at that point while the drunk ER guy bitched, "Way to go. You just knocked out the pussy magnet."

That was the wisest thing he said all night. The starlets and busty Trishelle weren't stopping by to see us... they were there for Nick... well more for the cameras surrounding Nick.

Nothing happened for a level while the drunk ER guy continued to drink and the new guy bullied everyone around the table. Rene started making moves and chipped up. I increased my stack to 16K after I won a hand with 9-9. I opened in middle position with a raise. Five callers including drunk ER guy. Flop was 5-4-2. I shoved. Everyone bailed while drunk ER guy tanked and tanked. He begged me to show if he folded. I shrugged my shoulders and he folded anyway.

"Show! Show!"

Nope.

"You're now my enemy."

Awesome. Now, I knew that I could trap him with a big hand and I waited for a spot to re-steal against the new guy who kept 3-betting everyone preflop. Two players limped. New guy raised from the button for 2.2K. I re-raised for 7K without even looking at my hand. I had about 14K behind. He tanked and tanked and kept shaking his head. He looked like he wanted to re-raise and pulled out a couple of orange 5K chips, but he pulled those back and called my raise. As the dealer fanned out the flop, I peaked at my cards for the first time... Jd-9c. The flop was A-A-4 with two diamonds. I shoved. He asked for time and replayed the hand aloud. He counted up his chips and wondered how much he'd have if he lost. That told me he had diamonds. Now I definitely didn't want him to gamble, but perhaps he held 10d-9d and then my Jack-high would be good. He finally folded and said that he couldn't chase the draw. Who knows.

On the next hand, I woke up to Kings on the button. Guy in early position raised. New guy 3-bet him. I 4-bet him with my cowboys. He smooth called. The flop was K-x-x with two spades. He checked. I bet out and he folded Q-Q face up. He said that he almost 5-bet-shoved preflop. I wish he did.

On the very next hand, I found As-Js. Action folded to me. I raised. Rene defended his big blind. Flop was A-high with all hearts. Rene checked. I bet small and he folded. I was over 40K at that point after winning three consecutive hands.

Kirk Acevedo (you might remember him from such roles as Joe Toye in Band of Brothers) joined our table...


Joe Toye was with us for less than an orbit before we got into a hand together as the time approached Midnight with less than 400 players still remaining. Woman next to me opened for 2.5K. I called with Ah-Kh. Joe Toye called on the button and the blinds folded. The flop was 9h-5x-2h. Original raiser c-bet. I shoved and Joe Toye couldn't have said "I'm all in" fast enough.

Joe Toye flopped a friggin' set. Why else would he shove? Shiiiiiiiiiiit, I totally forgot about him in the hand. Joe Toye had me covered by a few thousand. The woman next to me folded Ace-rag (sans hearts). I flipped over Ah-Kh. If my big draw hit, then I'd pass the 100K mark. And if I whiffed? Then I was heading to the sports bar with Fun Warren.

Joe Toye tabled 9-9 as expected and begged the dealer for no hearts. The turn was a baby heart to Toye's dismay, and I took the lead... temporarily. Toye still had outs if the board paired. The river? 5h. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck me. Out in 390th place or so.

"At least I got busted by Joe Toye," I said as I shook his hand.

Toye smirked and said thanks. He put my chips to good use and ended Day 1 fifth overall with 163K. Some dude named Otis held the lead with over 242K. Sportscenter alum Rich Eisen also finished in the Top 5 in chips. And Snake from Wicked Chops Poker? He remarkable finished in the Top 10 only hours before he was supposed to run a marathon in Pasadena. He was among the media colleagues who survived the cut including WhoJedi and Matt Waldron. Riki Lake, Trishelle, the dude from Mallrats, and Drunk ER guy were the celebs who advanced to Day 2.

The apocalypse is rapidly approaching. Trishelle advanced to the final table of the WPT Celebrity Invitational. Cue the raining frogs.

Many thanks to Matt Savage for the invite. I hope that I can sneak in again next year.


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Summary of Judgment: Viva Elvis

Cirque du Soleil must've been feeling mighty fine last week after that unequivocal, utterly puzzling super-duper thumbs up from Richard Corliss of Time Magazine, who declared "Viva Elvis" as "an experience that's both symphonic and in every way fantastic" and said "no tribute show can touch this one in its level of sophistication and its power of evocation."

But now here comes the real critics, the ones who don't necessary matter as much for a quote in an ad in Conde Nast Traveler but whose ability to assess this against not just Cirque's ouevre but what else is on stage in Las Vegas makes them far more useful to your travel preparations.

These commentaries are so consistent and fit precisely with my own views that it makes you wonder if Corliss was positioning for some special access to Cirque's New York show, Banana Shpeel or looking ahead to their Kodak Theatre show. Or maybe he just actually thought it was that good.

Here's a summary:

* Mike Weatherford of the Review Journal gave the show a lukewarm B. "Isn't it supposed to aim just a bit higher?" he asks of the production's ambition. He's baffled by the fiery-rope-twirling sequence and sees in it an effete-Canada-v-white-trash-Deep-South back story. It is "a genuine "Huh?" moment, one cynics might see as Cirque wandering adrift in its first journey to the red states, uncomfortable and pandering to strangers." His summary may be this line: "'Viva Elvis' is indeed a happy mess. It's loud and joyful and full of surprises, even if they stem from jarring in­consistency."

* Dave McKee of Las Vegas CityLife says it's "a noisy, incoherent mess." The superhero trampoline sequence to "Got a Lot O' Livin' To Do" is "just long, shapeless and ultimately pointless." Echoing my own concerns about the acoustical system in the theater and the treatment of the music itself, McKee writes: "Erich van Tourneau has dumped the original recordings into a gumbo of backing tracks, and live vocals and instrumentals, then puréed them into incomprehensibility. The theater’s sound system, which sounds like being trapped inside a cheap stereo speaker, only makes things worse." But how could that BE? Cirque CEO Daniel Lamarre told me it was as sophisticated as Love!

* John Katsilometes of the Las Vegas Sun also wonders about the trampoline scene. "You're wondering what is the point of all these costumed characters bounding around the stage other than to take a segment of Elvis' personality and expand upon it simply because costumed characters jumping on trampolines is a Cirque hallmark." Of a flaming-rope-twirling scene, he writes, "It's terrific fun, but when we think of Elvis, is a cowpoke spinning a flaming lasso something that springs to mind?" Also, "The production does present several moments when you're unconvinced about the strength of the link between what you're watching to the life and career of the King."

* Joe Brown of the Las Vegas Weekly and Sun pulls a bait and switch in his commentary, declaring up top the show is "likely to be lucky number seven for Cirque du Soleil." So the Montreal Mafia thinks, "Whew." But then Brown gets his digs in. "Viva Elvis" is probably good enough to crowd-please, but that doesn't mean it's any good, he says. "[I]t delivers exactly what many — most, probably — want from a Vegas show. Which would be vivid image after eye-sizzling sensation. Cirque is at its peak technically here — nobody (except maybe China) can top the Canadian spectacle factory’s powers when it comes to creating visceral images. But the flaw of this show, the missed opportunity, is that something so stylish is so insubstantial. ... The directors and designers have taken the all-too-familiar iconography of Elvis, dipped it in cheese, deep-fried it, sprayed a hard candy coating over it and dished it up on a stick. Eighteen-hundred served, twice nightly. Next!" And, finally: "Watching "Viva Elvis" is an oddly inert and passive experience, like watching a movie."

* Ubiquitous travel freelancer Eric Gladstone, on his Orbitz.Com blog reviewing all seven Cirque shows in Vegas, draws similar conclusions and makes the inevitable and deadly comparison to Love as in "unlike Love, Viva Elvis is an oddly disjointed, sloppy set of postcards caricaturing episodes in The King’s life." Like me, he likes some bits a lot but wonders what it all adds up to. He also praises the theater, which I find boring. In fact, the school-bus-bench-style seats with no arm rests are just irksome.

My own conflicted review is here.