Blackjack Card Counting Secrets

As I am sure you have all seen before in movies such as 21, there is much more to counting cards than adding and subtracting. The art of card counting takes years to master, but I am going to share with you a trick that makes it much easier.

Remembering the count is going to be your toughest challenge as it is very easy to lose concentration. This is why you should associate words with numbers.

Card Counting Tricks of the Trade

+1 = Tree (only one tree in a field of grass)
+2 = Switch (on and off)
+3 = Stool (has three legs)
+4 = Car (four wheels)
+5 = Glove (five fingers)
+6 = Gun (six rounds)
+7 = Craps
+8 = Pool (the black 8 ball)
+9 = Cat (cat has nine lives)
+10 = Bowling (ten pins)
+11 = Football
+12 = Eggs (a dozen eggs in a basket)
+13 = Witch
+14 = Ring (14k gold)
+15 = Paycheck (15th and 30th of every month)
+16 = Sweet
+17 = Magazine (the magazine "Seventeen")
+18 = Voting booth (have to be 18 to vote)

Instead of trying to remember the count in number form (which gets mentally exhausting and leads to error), say a sentence to yourself after each hand. For example, if the count is +10 you can say to yourself, "maybe I will go bowling after this". Don't say it out loud of course or they might think something up! This trick will really help your card counting skills evolve to the next level.

Finally, you can use the same words if the count is negative because that part is not difficult to remember. In other words, you will always know whether the count is positive or negative, but the number remembering is tricky. Hopefully this helps all of you aspiring card counters. Good luck!


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How to count cards in blackjack

Before you can actually try any of the card counting strategies on my blog, you must first understand the basic concepts of how to count cards in blackjack.

All you really need to remember is that each card is given a specific point value ranging from -1, 0, and +1. These values change depeding on what card counting system you are using. I have provided charts for each system so that you can learn the point values.

Regardless which card counting system you choose, they all serve the same purpose in the end--to predict when those sweet high cards will be coming our way. Some systems accomplish this better than others.

You will see many similarites across counting systems. High cards will always have a negative value, and low cards will always have a positive value, just some of the numbers will change. If you think you can handle it then I strongly encourage you to give it a go!

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Tao of Pokerati - Dream Team Poker Podcasts

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

We recorded several new episodes of your favorite podcast... Tao of Pokerati. Shaniac makes a cameo in Episode 10.3. And if you haven't read his recent recap... Dream Machine... then what are you waiting for?


Anyway, without further ado...
Tao of Pokerati - Dream Team Podcasts

Episode 10.1: Gel Time (2:47)
Episode 10.2: Shirts vs. Skins (4:15)
Episode 10.3: Spam and Eggs featuring Shaniac (3:16)
Episode 10.4: Karma, Villanova, and Thor (3:53)
Episode 10.5: Bustout Strategy (4:40)
Episode 10.6: Better Luck Next Time (4:58)
Visit the Tao of Pokerati Archives to listen to old episodes.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Card Counting- The Hi-Lo System

The Hi-Lo Counting Strategy
Level of difficulty: 1






The Hi-Lo count was my ace in the hole for the longest time. I would frequently visit casinos with my friends, watching them burn a hole in their pockets yet still finding ways to criticise my game.

"Why don't you just play poker? Blackjack is a fool's game!"

"I don't LIKE poker, OK? It's slow, boring, monotonous... not for me! Oh, and by the way, where did all your cash go?

The Hi-Lo counting strategy is the first system I ever learned and is still one of my favorites because it taught my buddies to shut their traps. Now they want me to teach them to count cards!

Don't be fooled into thinking the Hi-Lo is weak because it's simple. Master the count and you will be making money hand over fist (literally). The only hard part in maintaining your focus and concentration.

Low cards- Two, three, four, five, and six are all given a value of +1. These cards are bad for us because they make it less likely for the dealer to bust.

High cards- Ten, Jack, Queen, King, and Ace are given a value of -1. These cards help us out by increasing our probability of getting 17 or above on our first two cards. It also increases the dealer's chances of busting.

Neutral cards- The cards seven, eight, and nine have no value so you basically ignore them.

Here is a great betting system that you can use with the Hi-Lo or any other card counting system.

















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Dream Team Poker at Caesars

By Pauly
Las Vegas

I can't remember the last time I had so much fun at a poker tournament. It's been a while. Dream Team Poker pleasantly surprised me. I thought it was going to be cheesy and lame and a mere distraction during gambling on March Madness games. Alas, my assumptions were wrong.

What was Dream Team Poker? 148 teams (444 total runners) made of up three players. The prize pool was split and awarded based on team results (60% or $133,200) and individual results (40% or $88,800). They basically take the top two scores from each team to determine team rankings. First place in the team category paid out almost $60,000 while the individual score was $24,000.

My crew? Tao of Pokerati with Shaniac and Michalski.

Poker can be a solitary pursuit. However, when I stepped into the poker room at Caesar's Palace, I felt the feeling that I forgot...the fun and social aspect... poker as a game for the pure pleasure of it all. The team aspect changed the entire focus of the tournament. Everyone was in a more festive mood. Relaxed. Having a good time and playing poker with friends.

Pros were actually enjoying themselves in a tournament because most of the time tournaments are work (for lack of a better word) in order to pay bills, feed their kids, fund their other vices, or paying off a debt. It's serious shit and they don't fuck around. Dream Team Poker had the air of a laid back celebrity/media or charity event but with a more serious competitive element.

Plenty of entities insist that poker is a sport, or at least, try to package it as a sport or sports entertainment. For the first time, I finally saw the sporting side to poker with the team concept. To use a golf analogy, it is sort of like watching the Ryder Cup when pro golfers from the U.S. form a team and take on a team comprised of Europe's best players. Usually the golfers wanted to gouge each others' eye balls out with tees, but for a brief instance, they all share a rare sense of camaraderie and acted as a support group instead of a group of mortal enemies.

Dream Team had a little bit of everything. Media coverage. Red carpet. A handful of local politicians. Lots of suits. Gaming executives. TV producers. It was sort of a Who's Who in poker with Matt Savage, Jeffrey Pollack, Jack Effel, and Andrew Feldman from ESPN sightings. Even the Mayor of Beverly Hills was in attendance. I shook his hand and told him that I lived in his principality... on the fringe in his slums of Beverly Hills. He flashed a wry smile and wished me good luck.

Lots of side action. Prop betting. Last longers. Some funny team names like '6 Hands, 4 Nuts, and a Rack' made up of Kristy Gazes, Eric Aude, and Jerry Yang. Originally Jose Canseco was supposed to play on that squad and Kristy was a last minute replacement. The crowd favorite was 'Team Favorites' was made up of Hellmuth, Matusow and Los Angeles Lakers owner Jerry Buss... who showed up to the cocktail party with a sultry companion in her 20s.

Poker Road entered a team (Sebok, Coourt & Jeff Madsen) along with Huff & Stapleton at Two Jacks in the Hole. The hombres at Wicked Chops Poker were also in the mix. Well, at least two-thirds of the crew. Chops and Addict played with Jason Calacanis, the biggest swinging dick on the internet. Calacanis replaced Snake who was in rehab or getting botox at the time. I don't buy the "running a marathon" excuse.

A couple of pros were too cool to wear their team jerseys. Our Tao of Pokerati jerseys were collared golf shirts and they looked alright. The jerseys served a purpose because it prevented colluding and chip dumping. You couldn't sit at the same table as someone on your team until the final two tables, or you were disqualified. If by chance you were moved to a similar table, you were given a redraw.

My team ate breakfast at the Bellagio and plotted our strategy. Shaniac degen'd $100 away on Keno before my apple wood smoked bacon and Vermont cheddar cheese omelete arrived. We gambled on the bill by playing Price Is Right. My bid was the closest and Shaniac ended up the loser. He paid the bill.

We really couldn't call ourselves the 420 All Stars because Shaniac is off the wagon. Or on the wagon? Whatever, you know what I mean. The kid is laying off the peace pipe and has been writing some kick ass stuff recently if you haven't been stopping by his corner of the interwebs.

The event was sold out and utilized every single table in the tournament room and it spilled out onto tables in the poker room. My starting table included Addict from Wicked Chops Poker and Mas from Poker Poison (Veneno's teammate). There was an empty stack between Addict and myself. After one level, it was pulled.

Maria Ho and David Williams sat at the adjacent table. Maria was constantly on her phone updating Twitter and checking out the progress of her teammates and friends. She even caught a typo from yours truly. I referred to her as MarioHo.

We started with 10,000 in chips and 40 minute levels. I won a pot in the first orbit with A-J. Nothing special, but it's always good to win your first hand especially when you're a little rusty.

I won a 2K pot from Addict. He limped. I popped him with As-Qs. He called. The flop was K-10-x. He check-called a 2/3 pot-sized bet. The turn was another King. He checked. I bet 2/3 the pot and he folded. Since I knew Addict followed my feed on Twitter, I did not mention my hand but planted a seed that I was way ahead with A-K.

The empty stack next to us was pulled and a guy with a short stack sat down. He busted two hands later when Addict took him out. And then the floor moved an empty stack from a late player. Every player got a card when they initially sat down at their starting table. The size of a business card, it had a bar code and your name and your team name. When you busted, one of the floor staff scanned your name and that's how they were able to accurately determine the place you finished in. Dozens of staff in referee-looking shirts wandered the floor with hand held scanners. I was intrigued and wondered how that concept could be utilized in future poker tournaments from both a management and media perspective. It would make the bubble at the Main Event run much more smoothly.


Sort of like a dog tag in war. When you bust, your barcode was scanned to indicate that you were officially eliminated from Dream Team Poker.

Flash forward. In 2029, something out of a speed-induced Philip K. Dick short story, poker media will no longer contain humans. The industry will become totally mechanized with bots and run by AI. We'll have microchips embedded into our index finger fingertip and a bar code on the back of our necks. All you have to do is swipe your finger over a scanner at the poker table to sign in. Or infrared scanners from the eye in the sky locked into your neck barcodes. RIFD poker chips instantly tracked stack sizes.

Anyway, the Dream Team tournament progressed and every few minutes a different team member would stop by to check up on someone at my table. Lots of relaying of information on fellow team members.

Thor Hansen, the Godfather of Scandi poker, took a seat at my table. T.J. Cloutier busted out early and wandered over to my table. He told Thor about the beat how he ran Kings into Aces. When he walked away, a few people snickered, "Is he heading to the craps table?"

I got dealt A-A and got involved in a pot with one of the three crazy Asian players at my table, but he insisted that he was abnormal. On a flop of 7-7-4, he bet out and I raised. He folded to my re-raise and said, "I'm the only Asian in Las Vegas who knows how to fold." He flashed pocket Jacks and tossed his cards towards the muck. I showed one Ace.

At the first break, I hovered around 12K and Shaniac was above average. Michalski took a big hit and slipped to under 3K. He busted shortly after the first break.

Thor Hansen cracked Aces with Queens. The flop was Q-5-5. He got his opponent to shove all in on the turn. I picked up Aces later that orbit and busted a player who had K-J. A King flopped and he shoved. I quickly called and knocked him out. My stack was around 16K until I doubled up Addict. My 8-8 was no match for his J-5.

I chipped up and then busted a player. I opened, he shoved with nines, and I called. My tens held up and my stack increased to 22K. Shaniac busted out and the entire fate of Tao of Pokerati was on my shoulders.

Then I got distracted with my degenerate sports betting. With less than two minutes to go in the UConn/Missouri game, UConn held a three point lead. The spread was six and that queasy feeling invaded my stomach that I always got when I was about to lose an absurd amount of money on a single basketball game. After a time out, A.J. Price drilled a jump shot. UConn led by 5. Missouri missed a jumper and UConn's Kemba Walker snagged the rebound and Missouri quickly fouled the freshman guard from the Bronx. Walker averaged 9 points a game all year. He had scored 23 points in total after the first three March Madness games... and he equaled that number with a 23 point performance to lead UConn in scoring. Walker calmly hit four free throws down the stretch to put his team up by 9 with 50 seconds left. Matt Lawrence from Missouri dropped a trey to get within six. Missouri fouled and UConn hit two free throws. 78-70 with 41 seconds to go. Missouri missed a three pointer, secured the rebound and missed a layup before finally scoring. 78-72 with 23 seconds to go. Two more successful free increased the lead to 8. Missouri made me sweat the final seconds when Zaire Taylor drilled a three pointer. Are you fuckin' shitting me? 80-75 with 12 seconds to go. Missouri fouled Craig Austrie, who hit two of the biggest free throws in recent sports betting memory for me. 82-75 with seven seconds left. The spread was 6 fuckin' points and Zaire Taylor missed a layup with 0:02 on the clock. The final score? 82-75. UConn miraculously covered on a missed layup. Wow. That was a tremendous swing. With that bet locked up. I relaxed and returned to focusing on the tournament.

I convinced Mas to fold Queens pre-flop. He opened 3x and I popped him from the button. He tanked for a couple of minutes and then folded Queens up. I flashed him my Kings. A couple of hands later, I found Jacks and opened to 1.8K. Guy to my right from the "West Coast Rounders" called. Old guy raised to 6K. Thor Hansen shoved all in. He was the big stack and had well over 50K. I folded my Jacks. The guy next to me said that he folded A-K. The old guy tanked and muttered something about folding Queens. He eventually folded and Thor won the pot worth of 10K. Thor tossed his cards towards the deal and lofted them high enough that my end of the table could see that he had Aces.

At the second break both my teammates were busto and with my stack at 17.5K. There were 248/444 left in the field. Joe Sebok was among the chipleaders with 100K. After the break, I picked up A-K more times that I could recall. I got zero action the first two times. On the third time, I raised Thor's big blind with Big Slick and he called. The flop was 10-7-3 rainbow. He checked and I knew that whatever I bet, he was going to check-raise me. I was about to check when I tossed a couple of chips worth 2/3 the pot. He quickly pulled out a half of a stack of 1,000 chips and announced a raise. I folded. I had run my stack up to almost 28K but after Thor manhandled me and I lost another small pot to him, I slipped to 12K.

Thor took out Addict and added more chips to his when his A-10 suited held up against Addict's Ah-4h. Marsha Waggoner took Addict's seat when she was moved to my table. In less than five minutes, she instantly doubled up with Kings. That was the start of her building a big enough stack to advance to Day 2.

I ran my stack back up to 23K before I lost most of it bluffing off my chips. As the saying goes, "You can't bluff a calling station." I could have played the hand a little better, although my opponent should have folded top pair with a weak kicker. That was my only mistake of the entire tournament, yet ultimately it led to my downfall.

I busted out a couple of hands later. I shoved with Ad-Jd for around 3K. Action folded to Mas in the big blind. He was pretty much committed and called with 8d-4d. I flopped a Jack and he flopped a four. I led until an 8 fell on the river. He won the pot with two pair and I was knocked out in 147th place. I managed to get some love from Matt at Poker Listings who mentioned me in his updates a couple of times. Matt titled my elimination post as... Dr. Pauly Gets Licensed Revoked.

I went out to the sports book and watched the last minute of the Pitt/Villanova game. I had Nova +2. They blew a 4 point lead with 20 seconds to go and Pitt tied the game at 76 with six seconds remaining. The anxious crowd of sports bettors huddled at Caesar's Palace sports book erupted when Scottie Reynolds hit a shot as time expired. Pandemonium. There was actually some time left on the clock and Nova had to cut short their celebration. Alas, it was essentially over. The last tenths of a second ran off the clock and Villanova advanced to the Final Four and I went 2-0 at the sports book.

The night ended when action got down to 27 players. The top 25 paid and Jamie Gold ended Day 1 as one of the shortest stacks. John Regis from Poker Masters ended the day as the chipleader. Mas, Tom McEvoy, Marsha Waggoner, and Thor Hansen also advanced. When action resumed on Sunday afternoon, the team concept really came into play. Jamie Gold from Team Aced doubled up quickly. He hung on to finish in 9th place. Team Aced, which included his girlfriend, Ashley Nataupsky, locked up first place in the team category.

Although Tao of Pokerati didn't win Dream Team Poker, we had a all around fun time. It was a cool and different concept and it's always a pleasure to play with your friends. Alex Outhred did a kick ass job acting as emcee. I'd actually like to participate again in the next event. Same team.

Stay tuned for new episodes of Tao of Pokerati podcast that we recorded over the weekend.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Card Counting- The Hi-Opt I System

The Hi-Opt I Counting Strategy
Level of Difficulty: 1





Point Values Explained:

Low cards- Three, four, five, and six are all given a value of +1.

High cards- Ten, Jack, Queen, and King, are given a value of -1.

Neutral cards- Ace, two, seven, eight, nine have a value of 0.


The Hi-Opt I is another very popular card counting system that many people use because of its level of ease. Like the Hi-Lo system, it is a balanced counting strategy meaning that if you count the whole deck from start to end your final number will be zero.

This counting strategy is very straightforward. The only difference between this system and the Hi-Lo is that Aces and 2's hold no value. This makes it an even easier than the Hi-Lo count. That being said, many people choose to keep a side count of the number of Aces played. This gives you a more accurate idea when to place insurance or double down.

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Card Counting- The Hi-Opt II System

The Hi-Opt II Counting Strategy

Level of difficulty: 2



The Hi-Opt II is another variation of the Hi-Lo system. It will be hard at first getting used to this if you have been using the Hi-Lo for a long time but it will happen. If you are just learning to count then this is the system I would recommend. It is more powerful in terms of accuracy, which means more money for you in the long run. To make this system even better you could keep a side count of how many Aces have been dealt.

Start practicing this system by flipping through a deck of cards. Do this one hundred times a day. Once you start to get real good you will be able to count two cards at the same time. This will save you a ton of mental energy.

Point Values Explained

Low Cards- 2, 3, and 7 have a value of +1. Now this is where it gets tricky because 4, 5, and 6 have a value of +2. This is the part that takes some getting used to.

High Cards- Like most card counting strategies, all 10 valued cards are counted as -1.

Neutral Cards- The neutral cards in the Hi Opt II are Ace, 8, 9.



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Card Counting- The Zen Count

The Zen Count
Level of difficulty: 2




I know what you all are thinking and no, the Zen Count is not some kind of Buddhist meditation.  But it is a wicked powerful card counting system that can win you a lot of money if you play your cards right.

The Zen Count was first introduced in a book written by Arnold Snyder, a professional blackjack player for many years.  The book is called "Black Belt in Blackjack" and I really recommend you pick it up if you want to expand your knowledge further.

One of the things I really like about the Zen Count is that it comes with its own unique betting system.

If count is...
Negative to +1 bet one unit.
+2 bet two units.
+3 bet three units
+4
bet four units
+5
bet five units
+6
bet six units
+7
bet seven units
+8
bet eight units
+9
bet nine units
+10
bet ten units


And that's the Zen Count in a nutshell. Easy, right?

And if you're having trouble remembering the count, just keep practicing, and don't get discouraged.  Remember, this is also a level 2 card counting system, so it is harder than the hi-lo.

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Tao of Hoops: Sweet 16 Friday

By Pauly
Las Vegas

March Madness Sweet 16 - Friday Games:

7:07 PM ET Arizona (12) vs Louisville (1) -9.5
7:27 PM ET Syracuse (3) vs Oklahoma (2) -1
9:37 PM ET Kansas (3) vs Michigan St (2) -1
10:07 PM ET Gonzaga(4) vs North Carolina (1) -8

Pauly's Friday's Twist My Arm Picks:
(I really don't like any of the games... so I'm betting small)
Michigan State -1
Gonzaga +8
Oklahoma -1
Parlay: Louisville, Syracuse, UNC, MSU
Parlay: Arizona, Syracuse, UNC, Kansas
Parlay: Arizona, Syracuse, UNC, MSU

Disclaimer: these picks are for entertainment purposes only. After all, gambling is illegal at Bushwood Country Club and in parts of rural America. The Tao of Poker is not a registered investment adviser or broker/dealer. Readers are advised that the material contained herein should be used solely for informational purposes. Tao of Poker does not purport to tell or suggest which games that readers should wager for themselves. True gamblers should always conduct their own research and due diligence and obtain professional advice before making any investment decision. Tao of Poker will not be liable for any loss or damage caused by a reader's reliance on information obtained on Tao of Poker. Readers are solely responsible for their own investment decisions.

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3:03pm... Scared Picks?

Louisville and UNC will both win. I just don't know if they can both cover. Most likely, one team will cover and win by a dozen and the other team will struggle in a close game. Which one? I usually have a clue, but not this time. So much so that I'm staying away from both games. OK, maybe I'll bet something on the Zags. However, I'm betting a parlay with both the favorites and Syracuse.

My gut told me that Arizona's run is over and Louisville will stomp them. But L'ville struggled at times. UNC had royally fucked me at times like this in the past. I'm cautious. I wanted to bet them and it seems like most of the money is going on Gonzaga today. The line has dropped in the last 24 hours from 9 to 7.5! Which makes me even more afraid. I picked UNC to go deep in all of my pools and added them to a couple of parlays. A good hedge would be a small bet on Gonzaga. I only wish I bet them at 9.

Michigan State and Kansas are teams that always fuck me when I bet them or bet against them. And guess what? They are playing each other. No way I want to touch that game, yet I think Michigan State could win by five or six if things go their way. So I decided to bet small on the Spartans. Izzo is undefeated as a #2 seed. That's refreshing to know as I slapped down the Benjamins for that game. Time to smoke the Jawhawks.

Syracuse? Well they are one of the hottest teams in the country with their only loss in the last few weeks coming to Louisville. They play close games which is why the spread is a single point. Syracuse wins this game by 2 or Oklahoma wins by 8. Which scenario do you think happens? I think Syracuse's run is over and the Sooners advance to the Elite 8.

Oh and my brother's picks? "I like Oklahoma, Louisville, Michigan State and Gonzaga," said Derek.

Tough day for sure. One of the toughest Sweet 16 days of betting that I can recall.

* * * * *

6:40pm... The Calming

Had a lot of work to do this afternoon and stayed in my room. I placed my bets and settled back into my room to play a bit of online poker before the Arizona/Louisville game tips off. I'll be able to sweat the first two games but then I have to miss part of the later two games. Gotta go to the cocktail party for the Dream Team Poker Tour. The event starts tomorrow at Caesar's Palace. The Tao of Pokerati's 420 All Stars shall make a big splash featuring a new and improved clean and sober and smokeless Shaniac...

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7:55pm... Easy Street

Louisville and Oklahoma off to positive starts, while Arizona and Syracuse began their Sweet 16 games in the hole. Louisville shot well and took advantage of a couple of turnovers from Arizona in the first ten minutes of the first half as they opened up a double digit lead.

And the OU/Cuse game? Not so pretty start. The Orangemen held to 2 points in first five minutes of play.

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8:25pm... Zona Blowout

Wow. That was the Arizona team that almost bubbled. Many thought they should have been playing in the NIT instead of the NCAA. They silenced the haters in the first two rounds en route to the Sweet 16.... until then were stomped by Louisville. Wow. They stretched to lead to over 23 points and they are not letting up. Louisville finally looked a Final 4 team.

OU took a 13 point lead into halftime. They gotta withstand a couple of runs from Cuse in the second half. If they can do that and hit their free throws down the stretch, they'll win and cover. Of course, I had Syracuse in all of my parlays so if they lose, those are toast.

Showcase Bud Light Commercial Count: 2

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3:20am.... Late Night Update

Well, I'm back from the Dream Team Poker cocktail party. Lots of pros and random stars and other big names in the poker world. The team to beat? The Poker Hos with Tiffany Michelle, Lacey Jones, and Maria Ho. We picked up our team Tao of Pokerati jerseys. I'll write more about that later.

I sweated the games during the party, which was held inside the poker tournament area. Luckily there were a few TVs in the room and the sports book was located a few steps outside the poker room. The Michigan State game went down to the last minute of the game and the Spartans held onto win and dethrone the defending champions in Kansas. I stood in the sportsbook with Thor Hansen as I sweated my ass off during the last minute which seemed to last an hour and a half. I desperately needed MSU to cover. I started the day 1-0 after Oklahoma ended Syracuse's run. The Gonzaga bet was just wrong and (even though the Gonzaga/UNC game was not over, I conceded) I slipped to 1-1 going into the crunch time. MSU won and I survived the day with the slimmest of profits.

I overheard one guy say that if Missouri wins the entire thing, then he wins $150,000.

Anyway, the Elite 8 added four more teams... Louisville, UNC, Michigan State, and Oklahoma.

Saturday's games?
4:40 PM ET Missouri(3) vs Connecticut(1) -6
7:05 PM ET Villanova (3) vs Pittsburgh (1) -2
I think I like UCONN and Nova. But I want to sleep on it. I was talking to Shrink and he suggested that I jump all over UCONN before the line moves... higher. I might bet $500 on it now so at least I lock it in and improve my chance by 1/2 point or a full point.

That's it. No live blog on Saturday because I'm playing in Dream Team Poker.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Friday Morning Awesomeness: Cat Shit One



I'm not quite sure what it is, but I know I must see it.

Card Counting- The Omega II System

The Omega II Counting Strategy
Level of Difficulty: 2 (advanced)





The Omega II was used by many pros in the 90's, however due to its difficulty many have abandoned this system in favor of ones less complex.As you can see from the chart, the point values are much different in the Omega II system. Additionally, it is less effective if you do not keep an ace count on the side, so I would advise that you do. This makes it even more challenging, but if you can master it you will have it made at any casino you go into.

The Omega II is the one of, if not the strongest counting system that currently exists. The betting correlation (how good the system is at recognizing favourable conditions) is 0.92 without and Ace count, and 0.99 with an Ace count!  This makes the Omega II a card counter's dream, if he can master it.





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Tao of Hoops: Sweet 16 Thursday

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

I'm off to Las Vegas today for a couple of things, one of which is to gamble on March Madness games.

March Madness Sweet 16 - Thursday Games:

7:07pm ET Purdue (5) vs Connecticut (1) -7
7:27pm ET Xavier (4) vs Pittsburgh (1) -7
9:37pm ET Missouri (3) vs Memphis (2) -4.5
10:07m ET Villanova (3) vs Duke (2) -2

Pauly's Thursday Picks:
Memphis -4.5
UCONN - 6.5

Disclaimer: these picks are for entertainment purposes only. After all, gambling is illegal at Bushwood and in parts of rural America. The Tao of Poker is not a registered investment adviser or broker/dealer. Readers are advised that the material contained herein should be used solely for informational purposes. Tao of Poker does not purport to tell or suggest which games that readers should wager for themselves. True gamblers should always conduct their own research and due diligence and obtain professional advice before making any investment decision. Tao of Poker will not be liable for any loss or damage caused by a reader's reliance on information obtained on Tao of Poker. Readers are solely responsible for their own investment decisions.
* * * * *

12:44pm... Half an Edge

I just got UCONN at -6.5. The line was 7 and 7+. I decided to pull the trigger on that game. I have a set goal on how much I want to win over the next four days. UCONN is just a small step in that direction.

Leaving for Bob Hope airport shortly. I also put in a small bet online for Memphis, just in case my flight is delayed and I miss the tip off in that game. Memphis had been shaving points like crazy during the first two rounds, keeping their opponents in the game but then quickly shutting the door in crunch time. It's time that they played quality hoops during the entire game.

* * * * *

4:20pm... "Smoke 'em if you got 'em!"

Today's smoke break is brought to you by....


* * * * *

5:20pm.... Waiting on a Plane

Sitting at Bob Hope airport in Burbank awaiting my flight to Las Vegas. I'm flying JetBlue which means they have TVs and I'll be able to sweat the first half of the UCONN game. I'll arrive in plenty of time for the Memphis game.

I had a moment of anxiousness when I left for the airport. I had not bet a significant amount on a game in a very long time. I forgot how mentally draining sweating those bets can be. I'm exhausted and it's not even tip off in any of the games. It might be better that I don't watch every play of the games.

Oh, and someone left a fax machine at security check in. Fax machine? Do those even exist anymore? And if so, who brings one on the road with them? Damn Hollywood writerly types having to fax in pages and pages of scripts, that's who.

* * * * *

9:18pm... Nice Sweat

I'm in Las Vegas. Chillin' at Friedman's house. He drove me over to Red Rock Casino so I can bet on Memphis. Gonna be able to chill out and relax and watch the late games.

UCONN? It was a tough sweat. The Huskies won by 12 and covered. They got out to a hot start due to a shitty shooting start from Purdue. Hummel kept them in the game early and scored the majority of their points in the first 10 minutes. Oh, and I caught Showcase's commercial while 30,000+ feet in the air.

I watched the first half on the short flight from Burbank to Las Vegas. Sweating bi bets on the plane? Not fun. I like to pace back and forth and you couldn't exactly do that in a constricted environment.

With UCONN's win, I'm guaranteed to at least break even today (minus a little juice).

Showcase Bud Light Commercial Count: 1

* * * * *

10:16pm... Suit Tilt

Without fail, bet big on one game and CBS will show you the other. I'm not at a casino, so the TV feed switched to Villanova/Duke.

After a slow start, Memphis got their collective shit together. Mizzo jumped out to a 5-0 lead. With the spread, I started the game 10 points int he hole. Stomach got a little queasy. Memphis slowly chipped away and took the lead.

* * * * *

11:50pm... Making a Run

Missouri has a habit of blowing double digit leads. That was my only hope. Memphis made a valiant run... and got within striking distance. Sort of surprised but relieved. Now they have to go on one final push and win the fuckin' thing.

Oh, and Duke sucks. So happy for Villanova right now.

My condolences to AlCantHang who stated, "9 minutes left and making the call. Bracket. Busted."

* * * * *

1:14am... 1-1 and the Vig Wins

I finally checked into my hotel room. I got the 13th floor. No shit. The front desk clerk sort of asked for my permission to give me the floor. I guess some folks are superstitious. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't care. I just wanted a room.

I went 1-1 for the day and lost money. The juice. The vig. Fuckers. I wanted to bet against Duke out of sheer contempt, but advised myself to not bet with emotions. I should have gave into those gut instincts. Oh well. At least I had a sustained buzz for almost five hours.

My brain feels so fried and scored that I need to dump my head into a bucket of ice. Nothing hurts more than getting your testicle scooped out with a melon slicer. That's the best way to describe the Memphis debacle.

1-1 for the day. Still up for the tournament. Friday is another day. 4 games,, including a couple of tough ones. Holy shit... two games with -1 spreads? And can Louisville beat Arizona by 10 points?

Showcase Bud Light Commercial Count: 2


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.
2009 SCOOP on PokerStars

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA


One week from Thursday on April 2nd, PokerStars is launching SCOOP... or the Spring Championship of Online Poker. SCOOP is different because it caters to players with different sized bankrolls. That's a nice way of saying that they have super low buy-ins to cater to the broke dicks and economically starved poker junkies out there.

And if you're a baller or love to crush satellites, then the highest tiered events are for you.

There are 22 events in all with each event having three different buy-in levels. 66 events in all ranging from $5 to $10,000. The 10K Main Event is a $5M guaranteed tournament. There is over $30M overall in guaranteed money.

Scheduling permitting, I'm gonna try to play a couple of events for shits and giggles perhaps PLO, Mixed Hold'em, and the 8 Game. Interesting events for 2009 SCOOP include Pot Limit 5 Card Draw, the $10,000 buy-in HORSE High Rollers Event, and the $25K Heads Up event.

Here's the schedule...
2009 SCOOP Schedule on PokerStars:

Event 1 - NL w/ Rebuys (6 Max)
April 2 at 14:30 ET
Low: $5.50
Med: $55
High: $530

Event 2 - PLO8
April 2 at 16:30 ET
Low: $11
Med: $109
High: $1,050

Event 3 - PL 5 Card Draw
April 3 at 14:30 ET
Low: $11
Med: $109
High: $1,050

Event 4 - NL (2X Chance Turbo)
April 3 at 16:30 ET
Low: $16.50
Med: $162
High: $1,575

Event 5 - NL Shootout (10-Max)
April 4 at 14:30 ET
Low: $16.50
Med: $162
High: $1,575

Event 6 - PLO (1R,1A 6-Max)
April 4 at 16:30 ET
Low: $22
Med: $215
High: $2,100

Event 7 - HORSE
April 5 at 14:30 ET
Low: $109
Med: $1,050
High: $10,300

Event 8 - NL (2 Day)
April 5 at 16:30 ET
Low: $33
Med: $320
High: $3,150

Event 9 - Limit Triple Draw 2-7
April 6 at 14:30 ET
Low: $22
Med: $215
High: $2,100

Event 10 - NL Heads-Up
April 6 at 16:30 ET
Low: $16.50
Med: $162
High: $1,575

Event 11 - Mixed Hold'em (6-Max)
April 7 at 14:30 ET
Low: $33 buy-in
Med: $320 buy-in
High: $3,150 buy-in

Event 12 - Stud 8
April 7 at 16:30 ET
Low: $22
Med: $215
High: $2,100

Event 13 - Razz
April 8 at 14:30 ET
Low: $22
Med: $215
High: $2,100

Event 14 - NL (6-Max)
April 8 at 16:30 ET
Low: $22
Med: $215
High: $2,100

Event 15 - 8 Game Mixed
April 9 at 14:30 ET
Low: $44
Med: $425
High: $4,175

Event 16 - Seven Card Stud
April 9 at 16:30 ET
Low: $33
Med: $320
High: $3,150

Event 17 - NL (1R, 1A)
April 10 at 14:30 ET
Low: $22
Med: $215
High: $2,100

Event 18 - Limit Omaha 8
April 10 at 16:30 ET
Low: $55
Med: $530
High: $5,200

Event 19 - PLO
April 11 at 14:30 ET
Low: $55
Med: $530
High: $5,200

Event 20 - Limit Hold'em (6-Max)
April 11 at 16:30 ET
Low: $55
Med: $530
High: $5,200

Event 21 - NL Heads-Up
April 12 at 14:30 ET
Low: $270
Med: $2,600
High: $25,500

Event 22 - Main Event (2 Day)
April 12 at 16:30 ET
Low: $109 with $1M guaranteed
Med: $1,050 with $3M guaranteed
High: $10,300 with $5M guaranteed
Click here for more schedule info.

Do you not have a PokerStars account? You can download PokerStars software here.

Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Card Counting- The K-O System

The K-O Strategy
Level of difficulty: 1


The "Knock Out" counting strategy, known to most as the "K-O strategy" is one of the most popular counting systems to date. It is a unbalanced count, which makes it much easier because you can use the running count as your true count.

The K-O is considered to be a powerful level 1 system. In fact, when this strategy was first published in 1996, most experts had a difficult time believing that such a powerful counting system could also be so simple. It is now place at the same level as the Hi-Lo system. You can practice this count by flipping through a deck of cards from start to end. If you do it perfect you should have a count of +4 by the time you reach the end.





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$5 Blackjack Online

There are plenty of places where you can play $5 blackjack online.  I have found that the best places are not necessarily the most well known.

I have found a few golden casinos that have been working like a charm for me.  In my opinion, there are three online casinos that offer you the best odds at the $5 blackjack tables.

Blackjack Ballroom


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This place is top notch for $5 blackjack.  I have always had good luck playing at Blackjack Ballroom, which leads me to believe that the software is quite fair.  Never have I had an unusual number of losing streaks.  In fact, at Blackjack Ballroom I quite often win.

Additionally, when you play $5 blackjack you get a huge deposit bonus (1 hour and $500 free to make as much as you can).  How can you beat a deal like that?

Cherry Red Casino


Cherry Red Casino - $777 Welcome Bonus


A great place to play $5 blackjack is Cherry Red Casino.  It has huge deposit bonuses (up to $777) and has gained a wide reputation for being  fair.  I would not hesitate recommending Cherry Red to anyone looking to make a quick buck from playing $5 blackjack online.

Rushmore Casino


rushmore_standard_468x60_us



A relatively new casino in the market, people are saying payouts are disproportionately high in an attempt to hook new customers.  I have played at Rushmore and while I didn't find myself to be winning disproportionately, I was still up pretty large at the end of the night.  And I was playing $5 blackjack at the time!

Card Counting- The Kiss II System


The KISS II Counting Strategy
Level of difficulty: 1






The Kiss II strategy is an unbalanced level 1 counting system. It first appeared in Blackjack Bluebook II and quickly gained popularity among blackjack enthusiasts. The Kiss strategies are designed to start simple and get harder as you move up. Kiss 1 is used by only beginners who don't play blackjack often. You are much better to start with Kiss II or Kiss III. The Kiss II works better with single deck games while the Kiss III has better results for multiple decks.

The tricky part to learning the Kiss II counting system is that it's a suit aware count. In this system the 2's are counted differently, depending on the color of the suit. Hearts and diamonds (any red card) are worth +1, clubs and spades are worth 0. Keep in mind that this only applies to 2's, all the other cards you would disregard the suit.






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March Heater and Dream Team Poker

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

My favorite sportswriter, Steve Rosenbloom, called March Madness... "National Screw Your Employer Weekend."

Even though I was fortunate enough to watch all of the games sitting on a couch while raging solo, pantsless, and smoking enough ganja to keep an entire reggae band stoned for a month... several of my friends (who held 'real' jobs) managed to skirt the system. They snuck out of work early, extended their liquid lunch breaks, and followed along with the games in their cubicles online via the live stream.

Even the techies behind the live stream of March Madness games on NCAA.com installed a "boss button" to help keep up the rouse that you were actually working on a TPS report instead of wasting work play productivity by sweating the first half of the UNC-Radford game.

For a couple of weeks every year, I'm reminded about the cultural and economic significance of March Madness. The annual college basketball tournament has grown into a monster over the last two decades. The intertubes drastically affected the growth, the popularity, and availability of the games to a world wide audience. I had friends in different countries all over the world sweating the games online. Even though Otis and Change100 were on an assignment in South America, they watched the same games as I did online.

According to Iggy's stat of the day, "CBS's NCAA March Madness On Demand drew more than 2.7 million unique users on the first day of the tournament. #1 paid iphone app too. 5.6 million hours of live streaming video and audio delivered over the first 3 days. Some sick numbers."

Insane. The WSOP might be the greatest thing in the poker world since sliced bread was mass produced courtesy of an invention of a machine by Otto Frederick Rohwedder int he late 1920s. But even March Madness' watered down coverage filled with testicle-numbing commercials absolutely destroyed anything put forth during the WSOP.

Obviously, the gambling aspect of March Madness helped inflate the popularity of the tournament. Sure, there are enough true hoops fans that welcome the reprieve and take advantage of non-stop hoops action. The tournament is an enthralling competition. You lose? And you're out. But only a small percentage of viewers are hard core hoops junkies or alumnus of whatever university happens to be playing.

The gambling aspect makes the games attractive. That's why so many people were sweating them. And I'm not talking about the gamblers betting on the games... but rather all those casual gamblers who forked over $10 or $20 to fill out a sheet. The federales have a hard-on for thwarting illegal gambling, but the law enforcement and judiciary entities overlook the March Madness bracket pools and the Super Bowl boxes. After all, many of them might even be running their own pools.

I worked in an office environment a couple of times in my adult life. I loathed the birthday cake parties and constantly contributing cash to buy flowers to whoever just had a triple bypass. But, I absolutely loved the Superbowl and March Madness because it gave me something to chat about with my fellow co-workers. You really got to glimpse into their personalities better.

March Madness also gave meaning to something that previously had no meaning or significance.

Hey, once the Jets get bounced from the NFL playoffs (or more likely, they failed to advance to the playoffs), I have zero emotional investment in the games. But once I wager on the outcome of a game, my focus shifts. A random game went from having ill-significance to being the most important thing in the world at that given time. Same thing applies to March Madness. Normally people who never gamble on anything or wouldn't even watch a college basketball game even if you put a gun to their sexual organs... all of a sudden become ravenous hoops fans and can't get enough of the action. They have to know the score... constantly. Like rabid crackheads, they're constantly refreshing ESPN's scoreboard or toggling back and forth between the games in order to sweat the action.

And yes, March Madness is that time of year when a random secretary, who dropped out of SUNY-Buffalo after her freshman year, ends up winning $1,500 in your office pool because she luckboxed her way into picking 15 out of the Sweet 16 teams including Arizona going deep into the tournament. It almost makes you think... what's the point on doing any research when anyone who can circle a team can win large sums of money on a minimal investment?

But then again, that's what makes the March Madness tournament so special... that any of the 65 teams can win (obviously the better teams have a higher percentage of a chance of winning, but upsets do happen and that's part of the miracles that routinely happen during the most random games). And it goes without saying, that anyone filling out a bracket or sheet has a shot of winning it all. That's why you participate and that's why you play multiple sheets. I must have had 10 different entries in five different pools. I need to win one outright to turn a profit. I need to come in the Top 5 in at least 2 of them to break even.

March Madness is one of the rare times that I wished that I still worked in an office environment. I missed that electric buzz in the office during the opening rounds on Thursday and Friday when you knew that at any given time 90% of the entire workforce was goofing off and zoning out on the games. And not to mention the talk around the cooler on Monday morning when everyone revealed their personal bad beat stories about the weekend games.

I went on a heater. It's been a while since that happened to me. Late on Friday night, Cleveland State upset West Virginia. I was getting eight points and could barely contain myself during the entire game. I paced back and forth. I screamed at the laptop screen. I cursed the suits at CBS for not showing the game on national TV and opted for the USC game instead (since that was the regional coverage) and I was forced to watch the game on the online feed.

I bet Cleveland State with the money line in addition to the points. Cleveland State maintained their lead and successfully pulled off an upset. They headed into the next round, as I ended the night on a positive note after winning a clutch bet. That set the tone for Saturday's games. I woke up in a good mood and bubbling over with confidence. I did most of my research the night before and placed a couple of bets. I quickly scanned the lines to see what moved and put in a couple more. Out of eight games, I wagered on five of them. I threw down $200 a piece and settled in for another long day of March Madness.

By the end of the night, the unthinkable had happened. All five hit. I was a little stunned and overjoyed at the same time. I also knew that all of that profit could be wiped out in a single day. At least I had a cushion. No matter what happened on Sunday, I'd survive the first week with a surplus. Although I had a hefty bankroll to bet on the games, my goal was to not have to use my own money and build up enough winnings in the first weekend and press that profit during the second weekend. That way, even if I lost my entire profit during the Sweet 16 and Elite 8 games, I'd walk away... even.

Sports betting was/is/will always be a leak for me, but not as bad of a leak as the stock market. Even though I knew it was rigged, I bet on it anyway. My own cockiness and ego got the best of me. I had my money with a certain cabal of bankers who I thought were on the right side of the fix. Alas, I was wrong and the losses piled up. I started to wonder if I wasted the last five years of my life busting my ass and becoming a whore in the poker industry. I did it for the money, but as 25-30% savings slowly evaporated, I second-guessed my decisions over the last half of a decade with regard to my career and investing.

Alas, Instead of worrying about how current events will lead us into a dystopian future, and moaning about our new President's economic policy of corporate welfare, I decided to allow my financial fate to be determined by garbage time free throws. So far? I can't complain with the results. I'd edging out the SP 500.

Like the hordes of other dreamers flying into McCarran airport on Thursday, I'm heading to Las Vegas hoping to hit a big score and return to the City of Angels with enough money to pay for Phish tickets at Red Rocks and a few bucks to help fund the rest of my personal writing project.

* * * * *

I'm also playing in the Dream Team Poker tournament at Caesars Palace on Saturday. My team? Shaniac, Michalski, and myself. If you don't know, Team Bluff won the first event during the November Nine. Two of my colleagues from Bluff (Eric Morris and Matt Parvis) had won along with their ringer... Zee Justin.

Of course, our X-factor is Shaniac.

Originally, I wanted to call our team the '420 All Stars' but I didn't think that could be cool with the event organizers. So instead, our team name on paper is Tao of Pokerati, but in theory we're the Tao of Pokerati's 420 All Stars.

And yes, we'll be taping new episodes of your favorite half-baked low-rent poker podcast... Tao of Pokerati. No Benjo this time around, but we'll have special guest Shaniac.

I wonder how focused I'll be in the tournament. I mean, I'm gonna be sweating the Elite 8 games at that point and have more on the line in sports betting than invested in the poker tournament. I guess I'll finally know what it feels like to be Erick Lindgren or Phil Ivey sitting around at a poker table and not really paying attention to the game because they have both eyes locked onto the TV screen while sweating their bets.

Action junkie, am I.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

$1 Blackjack Online

Take it from me, there are literally hundreds of online casinos nowadays, and they all range in quality--from awesome to complete garbage.

So how can you find out where the best place to play $1 blackjack?

Plain and simple, because I am going to make it very easy for you.  I have personally tried many many online blackjack games and when it comes right down to it there are only a few companies out there that really seem to payout huge.

Blackjack Ballroom

free slots

Blackjack Ballroom is one of the best places to play $1 blackjack, hands down.  The odds seem fair, and I never notice myself having strange losing streaks like at other online casinos which make me question their trustworthiness.  New players get their choice of a 1 hour and $500 free promotion, or a 40% matching bonus!

Cherry Red Casino


Cherry Red Black Jack


I have never felt short changed while playing $1 blackjack at Cherry Red.  I really like the software and the visuals of the blackjack tables.

To sweeten the pot, Cherry Red offers huge blackjack bonuses for anyone who deposits.  I strongly recommend Cherry Red to anyone looking for fair $1 blackjack.


Rushmore Casino


Rushmore Black Jack


Rushmore Casino was my ace in the hole last year when I won over $3000 playing online blackjack in less than a month!  It also offers $1 blackjack for those of you who bet more conservatively.

Card Counting- The Kiss III System

The Kiss III Counting Strategy
Level of Difficulty: 1



The KISS strategies are designed to start easy and get harder as you go. The KISS III counting system is similar to the Red7 and works best with shoe games (meaning more than one deck). You will find that the Kiss III is much more accurate for betting compared to the KISS II.

Making the switch from the KISS II to the KISS III is easy as pie. The count is almost exactly the same, the only difference being that 7's are counted as +1 under the KISS III whereas 7's hold no value in the KISS II. The Kiss III is also a suit-aware count as you can see on the chart above. As you can tell, the 2 is counted differently depending on the color of the suit. Reds are +1, blacks are 0. This will increase the accuracy of your count even further.




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Best Online Blackjack For Cash

A lot of people ask me "where is the best place that I can play online blackjack for real cash?"

There are a lot of things to consider, like reputation, sign-up bonuses, and online community. But usually the best place for online blackjack will be the one's with the biggest bonuses. That's free cash baby!

Mount Rushmore is a solid online casino that has had me raking in the cash over the years. Take it from me, the blackjack offered here is 100% legit. I have never experienced bad streaks while playing here.

Cherry Red is another sexy casino with lucrative sign-up bonuses and a beautiful graphic interface that really puts you in the mood for blackjack. Cherry Red is without a doubt one of the best places on the net to play blackjack online for real cash.

Golden Casino is true to its name. It is truly a golden casino as I have literally raked in the cash on several occasions with a few fiery streaks. Let it ride baby!

Blackjack Ballroom is one of my favorites! You literally get $500 in free cash just for signing up. You have one hour to make as much as you can with it through online blackjack. You keep the winnings.

These are the best places that I have found anywhere, and I have done a lot of research online about the online blackjack industry. That's it from me, and good luck at the tables!
Last Call: March Madness - Round 2 Sunday

By Pauly
Hollywerid, CA

And on Sunday, the Lord sayeth, try to get unstuck!

March Madness Round 2 - Sunday Games

12:10 PM ET Arizona St. (6) vs Syracuse (3) -2.5

2:20 PM ET Wisconsin (12) vs Xavier (4) -3.5
2:30 PM ET Dayton (11) vs Kansas (3) -8
2:40 PM ET Cleveland St. (13) vs Arizona (12) -2.5
2:50 PM ET Oklahoma St. (8) vs Pittsburgh (1) -8

4:40 PM ET Marquette (6) vs Missouri (3) -3.5
4:50 PM ET USC (10) vs Michigan St. (2) -4
5:20 PM ET Siena (9) vs Louisville (1) -11.5

Pauly's Sunday Picks:
Arizona St. + 2.5
Xavier -3.5
Dayton +8
Cleveland St. +2.5
Missouri -3.5
USC +4
Chalk parlay: Syracuse, Kansas, Pitt, Louisville

Disclaimer: these picks are for entertainment purposes only. After all, gambling is illegal at Bushwood and in parts of rural America. The Tao of Poker is not a registered investment adviser or broker/dealer. Readers are advised that the material contained herein should be used solely for informational purposes. Tao of Poker does not purport to tell or suggest which games that readers should wager for themselves. True gamblers should always conduct their own research and due diligence and obtain professional advice before making any investment decision. Tao of Poker will not be liable for any loss or damage caused by a reader's reliance on information obtained on Tao of Poker. Readers are solely responsible for their own investment decisions.
* * * * *

12:01pm... Game Time Sunday

Well, I'm back in position on my couch for a fourth straight morning of March Madness, degenerate gambling, constant bong toking, and snarky commentary. I opened up the coffeeshop on the corner and beat the church rush. Change100 called mid-way through my breakfast sandwich and said that her flight from Uganda landed safely in Miami and that she was trying to get on an earlier flight to LAX. After my breakfast, I rushed over to the store to pick up a bouquet of flowers.... so when the girlfriend returned home from an exhausting overseas assignment there were some pleasant aromatic flowers greeting her as she walked into the apartment. And yeah, I've been raging solo for a week and the apartment is very messy. I'll have to tidy up during the halftime of the first game, unless I can find an out-of-work Beverly Hills maid to do it for $10/hour.

Onto the games... Friday's action included a plethora of upsets. So it goes without saying that the Sunday games are featuring higher seeds and mid-level teams struggling with their own limitations in the face of stardom on the cusp of a Sweet 16 berth. That included a team like Cleveland State. They were my sleeper before the tournament even started. I'm gonna ride them hard until they fizzle out... and I doubt that will be today. They take on a #12 seed, the controversial Arizona, who many pundits thought should not have been invited. So what did they do on Friday? They blew out Wake Forest and looked like a team that deserved a berth. Alas, they are still flawed and I doubt they can handle the Vikings of Cleveland State.

Saturdays games seemed much more clearer for me.... meaning I did 1/3 of the research and time toiling over the picks compared to today. Alas, yesterday was a day when I bet 4 favorites and 1 dog and went 5-0. Today, I'm going with four dogs and two favorites. Let's see how I do. Sometimes, you have to go against the grain. I'm betting small on the upsets and bigger on the favorites.

Best of luck today. At the end of today's games, the Sweet 16 will be set.

Here are Derek's picks... Xavier, Kansas, Arizona, OK state, Missouri, USC, Louisville,... and "Arizona St. vs Syracuse... this is a tough one. Probably stay away from it but I'd take AZ State."

* * * * *

12:34pm... Chez Log

Tao of Daddy. I miss that Donkey Fucker. He sent me an email that said...
1. Drink two shots of Imodium AD.
2. Eat an entire wheel of cheese.
3. Wait.

When that turd FINALLY gets there have your penis ready for orgasm. Time it perfectly, and you will be rewarded.

Wisconsin Log Cabin.
And the first commercial for the first break in the ASU/Syracuse game? Showcase's Bud Light commercial. I can't say how thrilled I am to see it... over and over. I get giddy like a school girl every time that I see it. Trying to be an actor in LA? Overwhelming odds. That guy took bad beat after bad beat. Heck, even after he booked and shot the commercial, he was told that it was not going to be aired. He gave up on it and then... he caught a major wave of luck and Bud Light added it to their rotation of March Madness drinkability commercials. Of course, 97% of the other commercials send me on mega-tilt, but for now, hi is not annoying... yet. Oh, and then I found out that it was aired during SNL last night as well, so it's getting into the non-hoops rotation.

Showcase Bud Light Commercial Count: 1

* * * * *

12:53pm... En Feugo

Syracuse dominated the game for the first 18 minutes. They looked nothing like the sloppy lackadaisical team that played in the first round.

The Orangemen also couldn't miss from the floor... from three point range. When you start off shooting a sizzling 70%, you're going to open up a double digit lead. Obviously, they can't keep up that pace in the second half and law of averages suggest that their hot shooting will taper off, however, Arizona State struggled with Cuse's zone defense. They could not match Syracuse's offensive output because they missed too many wide open shots. The sharp shooting of Rihards Kuksiks, an exchange student from Latvia who hit five treys in the first half, kept ASU in the game.

The sloppy and lazy Syracuse team that I bet against took the floor for the last two minutes. They hoisted a couple of bad shots and played complacent defense, as ASU scored a couple key baskets (including two big ones from way downtown from Kuksiks) en route to an 8-2 run. ASU closed out the half strong and pulled within nine.

James Harden, where the fuck are you? The sophomore guard from ASU averaged 20 points during the year. Harden scored zero points in the first half and 0-4 from three point range. Gonna start calling him... John Starks.

* * * *

1:57pm... ASU on Life Support

Harden woke up and finally scored, but Jeff Pendergraph fouled out. Just when ASU started a rally and it appeared that they might make it a game, Syracuse pulled away with a timely three from Devendorf to push the lead over 11Unless they go on a 10-0 run over the next three minutes, that best is not looking good.

* * * *

2:17pm... Battle of the Bulge

I gave up on ASU and conceded the win to Syracuse. At least I have Syracuse in a chalk parlay... something I thre together to hedge against mt bets on the dogs today.

I watched a Band of Brothers marathon on the History channel instead of the end of the Cuse game. Nothing is more depressing that watching the final seconds tick down in a game that you lost.

We have reached the busiest part of the day with four games. Gonna have to watch a couple online, but I'm assuming that we'll get the Cleveland State/Arizona game on in LA.
* * * * *

3:13pm... Rough Start... 0-4 Today?

The suits at CBS threw me a bone and aired the Cleveland State team. I'm rooting for them as if they were my alma mater. Alas, I went to A DIII school and sadly, more student watched our fraternity intramural games than went to root for our school team.

Cleveland State started flat. They shot just 25% for the first 10 minutes while Arizona looked sharp shooting over a .500 clip in a balanced attack. Arizona took a ten point lead and I got that sick feeling in my stomach... it's gonna be a long game filled with misery and unfilled expectations. Sometimes first round upsets die a slow and ugly death in the second round. Let's hop that's not Cleveland State's fate.

Kansas attacked early and jumped out to an early lead plagued by poor shooting from Dayton. They rallied back int he last minute or so to get within three points.

What happened to Wisconsin? They played Dayton tough and headed into halftime with a 2 point lead. Trevon Hughes scored 10 points (8 from the FT line) in the first half.

Oklahoma State surprised Pitt with a barrage of three's as they took the early lead. The Cowboys extended their lead to ten points with 10 minutes to go in the first half, but the #1 seeded Pitt showed why they were one of the best teams in the country. They chipped away at the lead via Sam Young's 16 points in the first half. He averaged 18.5 the entire season and stepped up his game to keep Pitt in the game.

Showcase Bud Light Commercial Count: 2

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4:20pm... Smoked and Toked, No Joke

Wisconsin tried to pull away in the second half, but Xavier had enough and went on a run of their own. They took the lead and finally looked like a team that could win by ten and cover the spread.

Dayton? Woe is me. Horrendous offensive output (a mere 19% from the floor). Chris Wright shooting blanks. Kansas took a double digit lead by sheer ineptness from Dayton. I'm almost flush that ugly turd down the toilet with six minutes to go.

CBS Tilt: The wizards at the almighty Eye sent me on tilt and switched to the Pitt/OKSt game. It was close and Pitt did everything they could to prevent an upset, but I had more interest in two other games including my new favorite team Cleveland State.

And yeah, the Vikings looked like ass in the opening minutes of the second half as Arizona maintained a ten point lead, until the picked up a couple of cheap buckets and cut the lead to six with 12 minutes to go.

Today's smoke break is brought to you by PokerStars....



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4:44pm... Le Whiffe

I stated the day 0-2 whiffing on both my upset dogs bets. I won the first bet of the day with Xavier (2x the amount of the dogs). I'm even for the day (minus a little juice). Glad that Xavier got their shit together in the second half and put the Badgers out of their misery.

Whenever Cleveland St. made a run, Arizona beat them back. They are on the verge of closing the door, but perhaps a couple of garbage three pointers could help me beat the spread.

Pitt looked like they were on the verge of covering with five minutes to go to go. I have them in a four-team parlay that is half-way there with Kansas & Syracuse winning both of their games. Alas, OK St went on a 9-0 run to get back in the game and take the lead.

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5:05pm... Garbage Time Saves Thee

Cleveland State's run is over, as Arizona told all their haters to fuck off with a Sweet 16 appearance. Those fuckers were a bracket buster on every single one of my sheet in like ten different pools. I still think they suck and totally got lucky because Cleveland State played like a bunch of wanna-bes that got cut from the JV team.

Pitt? Won by 8. Push. Fuckers. Push is a loss on a parlay ticket. Thanks for the kick in the junk.

I'm -330 on the dogs and with the $50 busto parlay, I have -380 in losing tickets, but Xavier paid out 200 so, I'm -180 for the day. Even if I lose my last two bets, the worst case scenario is a -505 day. At best? I could turn a slight profit after pissing away yesterday's winnings on the dogs infested with fleas.

Missouri better cover and I'd love to see USC pull off an upset since I took the Trojans with the points. Maybe that will be the one underdog that I bet that actually wins?

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6:06pm... Missouri Rolls

More than pleased with Missouri's performance in the first half as they opened up a double digit lead. Marquette closed out the half strong and cut the lead to just 11 points.

USC didn't play too bad and hung with Michigan State. They only trailed by 3 at the half.

I haven't seen one second on the Louisville game. They should whoop Siena.

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7:01pm... D'oh!

Marquette did not lay down and gave Missouri a little fight. They cut to lead to five and got even closer. As Dr. Jeff put it, "C'mon Mizzou! How do you blow a 16 point lead?"

USC? They stormed out of the locker room with a 10-4 run and seized the lead. DeMar DeRozan scored five points in the first three minutes. Momentum swung the other way, and Michigan State quickly ran off a couple of baskets to regain the lead, and ten USC tied it up again. Back and forth. Trading baskets. Classic March Madness game. You knew with 10 minutes to go that it was going to come down to the final possession.

Uggh. Two games heading into crunch time... sweating both bets. One team getting four points the other having to fade four points... and I could not watch the outcome.

Week of raging solo has come to a close. I have rush off to the airport to pick up Change100. Airport run during March Madness? Looks like I'll have to sweat the games via radio.

Thanks for following along the last four days. I can't recall the last time I actually had fun live-blogging something. And I can't recall the last time I actually posted four days in a row on Tao of Poker!

Next weekend? I'll be in Las Vegas for the Sweet 16 and Elite games, and who know what sort of hijinks I'll get myself into.

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8:56pm... Close Shave

I'm back from the airport... I listened to the USC game on the radio. Fuckers lost by 5. I went 0-4 betting dogs. On a good note, Mizzou held on to win... and cover... by a half a point. I had them at 3.5 and then won by 4. I went 2-0 betting favorites... and 2-4 overall for the day. I finished up -90. For the first and second round? +1465. More than pleased with those results.


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